Need a little help building some confidence in the approach.

solocup · 2010-12-29T20:06:04+00:00

Few things:

Warm up sets talking to people you're not attracted to. Asking for directions, best coffee shop, etc. Add a little joking around in there.
Start with opening friends of friends. "Hey, you know [x], right? I'm slappy." Then do it with the same openers you'd open new people with. I like "Hey, I haven't met you yet. I'm solocup." Since they've seen you with their friend, you have social proof already.
Open everyone that seems interesting. When you find a group with a girl you like, open their friend first. Start with a not-so-cute girl, so you're not concerned whether you're blown out. As your social momentum builds, you'll have more and more confidence. Also, if you get blown out, you steamroll right over it and move onto the next set.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-12-29T21:17:02+00:00

If you have bad approach anxiety, you need to drop the PUA literature, stop thinking about groups of people as "sets", and just start talking to everyone. Seriously it seems like obvious advice, but try going out for a few months with no goals of picking up or getting numbers, just try to meet new people and have interesting conversations with them. That's how I got over it. Plus talking to everyone is really fun. Start with bartenders and doormen, taxi drivers, store clerks, etc.

jagermeistr · 2010-12-30T03:32:37+00:00

You just have to do it. There aren't any tricks or mind hacks when it comes down to it. It is scary, but you have to do it.

Luckyone1 · 2010-12-29T19:55:36+00:00

Deep breaths, look at her, dont stare but don't look down...people who have confidence walk with their heads up.

uchihavino · 2010-12-29T20:01:42+00:00

3 second rule. Walk into room, see set, within 3 seconds approach.

2010-12-29T22:06:44+00:00

For me, it wasn't so much building confidence in the approach as crushing the fear out of it. By executing approach after approach after approach, and failing many, many times, you can become so comfortable and familiar with approaching that you are unattached from the outcome.

Once you've failed as badly as you possibly can, the confidence will follow, as you will know it is unlikely that this approach could go any worse than some have in the past.

There's a perfect mantra for this, which I often repeat to myself: the first one-thousand approaches don't count.

Also, become a person who is conversation with anyone and everyone. Talk to the cashier, the dude on the street corner, people shopping. Go a step further and become someone who talks to himself when he's alone. This "warms up" your conversation abilities so that things flow much smoother.

I often have little conversations with myself, whether to nail the delivery of that funny anecdote I wrote earlier, to analyze things in my game and my life, or just because I like the sound of my own voice!

Title	Need a little help building some confidence in the approach.
Author	slapitagain
Upvotes	1
Comments	10
Date	December 29, 2010 7:53 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/et8pd/need_a_little_help_building_some_confidence_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-a-little-help-building-some-confidence-in-the.1314049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1314049

Comments