Need Advice with a Guy Friend

asoap · 2011-12-27T19:45:23+00:00

I've found it very difficult to help socially awkward penguin friends.

I have one friend that is the epitome of an AFC. I've tried to help him, but he gets quite upset that I'm trying to help him. He has massively high and I would say misguided morals. He thinks that I'm an ass because of how I treat woman, and that woman don't deserve to be treated with such disrespect. I don't think he's ever been laid, or dated a girl since high school, he's 30 now.

It can be very difficult for people to learn PUA stuff. You need to get to a point in your life where you're ready for it.

sventheviking · 2011-12-27T19:53:46+00:00

You can't force him.

Maybe you'd have better luck in the field though. Just go open girls and then wave him over, or bring them over to him. Do it all night, over and over again. He's bound to end up in a conversation sooner or later, and then the topic can change to "how not to bollocks up a conversation" rather than "should I have one or not".

Voila! Progress!

camerondare · 2011-12-27T20:24:27+00:00

The best way I've brought this up is to have a discussion about where the world is "socially", and bringing him to a point where he agrees - because it logically makes sense - that fundamental problems in our world occur because we lack understanding of our social relationships, and further, that this is not even a fault of ourselves as individuals: it's a fault of society as a whole. Nobody ever taught you social skills.

The way I usually bring is up is by mentioning how it's so weird that the education system always talks about how "it prepares you for the real world", yet, the real world is a social place, and the education system does nothing to prepare you for the world, socially. You aren't taught how to develop your social skills. This is crazy and absurd. If the world is a social place, which it is undeniably, it would be kind of important to understand and develop your social skills. There are few things more important truthfully.

Once he understands this, I usually talk about how when I realized this, I started studying, like you would any other skill-set (relate it to something he studies currently), and he will understand that studying social skills is just as normal and common sense as studying "martial arts" for example.

Then you can share with him some resources that you have found valuable.

graffiti81 · 2011-12-27T19:42:25+00:00

As a guy who both wants pick up to work and a guy who knows that where he is in life it can't, you have to figure out why he is failing before even broaching the subject.

If he has pretty good self-esteem, pick up might be the way to go. Get him a copy of The Game by Neil Strauss. If he has no self esteem, that needs to get fixed first and no amount of game is going to help him.

frogma · 2011-12-27T20:52:31+00:00

I think by far the best way is to go out with him and force him to interact. Even my nerdiest of friends will go through with it if I force him to. From there, everything else is cake- not that he'll necessarily be "successful" with it, but he'll most likely enjoy it and be less nervous about the next set. Don't even take it seriously or anything, just treat it like more of a joke. And set an example for him by doing it yourself.

No need to really teach him much beyond just making sure he does some teasing, less talking overall, good eye contact, shit like that. You don't want him to be overthinking shit.

Hopefully that'll at least open him up to the possibilities and he'll be more willing to see what else there is.

ShowcasePUA · 2011-12-27T21:26:25+00:00

The only way that I know of to convince a friend to give it a try is if you go out and get results for yourself, which would be problematic due to marriage.

But there is hardly a way to simply convince someone to try this, so he has to see results and think "how the hell did you do that?" Perhaps if you have other buddies that are into the seduction arts, arrange for a guys night at the club. Or you can bring your wife.

Or there's another way that I learned from Maniac High. Go out with your friend. Approach a set with at least one single woman and say "excuse me. I have a friend over there that is really shy and he really thinks you're interesting." Then let him approach a minute later. Though this is normally intended for wings, you don't have to do anything more but converse and make small talk. You're just the concerned friend.

2011-12-27T22:19:32+00:00

Frame in terms of a discussion of the principles of human psychology. Mention that there are a few simple tricks that can change the way people look at you. Start with things unrelated to pickup: how dressing better gets you better service at stores and restaurants or how holding a clipboard makes people pay attention to you. Then expand this to male-female relationships.

Mitogi · 2011-12-28T00:57:40+00:00

actually, i've had already a couple friends introduced to seddit, and I have convinced them it works, only... I could show them some field work, this seems a little harder when your married. on the other hand, you could try out some stuff and when the women actually show their interested you can tell them your married. but thats all on you and what you are willing to do

2011-12-30T00:59:57+00:00

Its tough, I like to say little things to my friends every now and then. Some times they report back with positive results and ask for more. Most of the time they shrug it off.

jingidy · 2012-01-02T19:47:00+00:00

I start by explaining that saying hi to a pretty girl is not going to get you maced. Once they're interested, I feed them some less controversial material that is relevant to their skill level. Then I find out if they think this is soulless/superficial/immoral and explain how it's about contributing value to others. Once they understand that I'm less guarded about what material I show them, though I still filter by relevance.

Title	Need Advice with a Guy Friend
Author	dweckl
Upvotes	17
Comments	17
Date	December 27, 2011 7:06 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/nsjop/need_advice_with_a_guy_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-advice-with-a-guy-friend.1326221 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326221

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