Not sure what is the right mindset when going out and how to improve

becomesharp · 2026-04-15T14:20:53+00:00

The right mindset: I'm going out to improve, not to get a result from women.

Which means go out focusing on a particular part of the skill where you're weak. If you successfully did the reps, you succeeded that night, regardless of whether you got a result with women.

That will prevent you from going out trying to get women to like/validate you, which will cause you to get needy and will be discouraging if you don't get it.

Outcome will naturally come with skill. Don't focus on it or you'll sacrifice skill development in order to be needy.

Certain-Assignment19 · 2026-04-15T14:19:54+00:00

You should have zero expectations of the result, but still be active. Big difference.

Most likely the problem is that when you go out with zero expectations, you don't do anything. And when you go out sith the mindset of something must happen, you are active but too attached to the result and women can feel this needy energy.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-15T14:50:49+00:00

You can have expectations on what you will do, but not on the outcome. That is, you know you will do something that night, and whatever happens as a result of your action, time will tell.

So you can say "i will flirt with a girl, i will tell her that i want to kiss her, i will try to get her home" those are actions, but the outcome you accept beforehand that it will be whatever faith has for you.

So the mindset should be, attach yourself to the action, and detach yourself from the result of the action.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-04-15T16:19:29+00:00

The best mindset is to go out for your own fun. Goal of th enight is to have fun. If having fun is talking to a bunch of men who are talking about your favorite video game, then you accomplished it. Because when women see that you are there for yrouself more they may put their walls down more often.

But also set mini-goals when it comes to women. Dont focus on how your friend is succeeding. Mini-goals can be like "talk to 1 woman tonight" then up it to "talk to 3 women tonight" then next one cold be "dance with 1 girl" then next could be "get 1 number, get 2, etc". As you acheive these small wins you get more confident.

You are setting expecations even if you are trying not to. Go up to women and tlak to them almost like a bro, like "i dont care if i ever see you again, i know im funny and if you dont wnat to talk to me than it's your loss". Then be yourself, enjoy the conversation, be interested in what she is saying, not "how can i get laid from this?". Like when ive talked to women im actually itnerested in what they are saying, of course im hopin git leads somewhere but im enjoying the night first and foremost. Im making risky jokes, not to offend, but because im having fun.

Like one time this is how a literal converation went. I come back from the bathroom and my friends are sitting on a bench and these 2 random girls at the end. I just sit and not say anything becuse my friends were in deep conversation. The 2 girls are looking at me weird so i go "dont mind me Im with them" they laugh becuase they thought i was trying to make a move on them. So i ask where they are from. Girl 1 is from Y City, Girl 2 is from Y city as well. So i say im from X city and Girl 1 goes, "OMG im from there but i just moved to Y city". I go "damn girl whyd you leave you better have a good reason for it?" she tells me she's in med school so i go "oh damn that is a good reason, you're forgiven. Congrats by the way". Girl 2 goes "yeah and she wont have to pay a dime because her parents are paying it in full". So i go "oh shit your. a nepo baby let's go girl". At this point i could tell she doesnt love being called that, kind of chuckles and her Girl 2 starts laughing like crazy. Girl 1 tries to defned it like "im not one because of XYZ" and i go "dont worry girl, im not judging i think you should own it. Nothing wrong with being a nepo baby". And it leads to a discussion of nepotism. All while Girl #2 is hinting how she's (#2) is with her BF and Girl #1 is single so she's throwing me the lob a bit.

5 years ago i would've never said the npoi baby line or even the "you better have a good reason line". But at this point i didnt care, most girls can take a joke better than most men. Plus when you can get their friends to like you and think your fun, you are in just as much. Because your friends will encourage her to give you a chance. So when i see a group of women, im hyping up the whole group, i dont go to 1 woman and try to pull her aside because if she rejects you then you jsut told the whole room of woman that this 1 woman is more beautiful than them.

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-15T16:53:46+00:00

The best mindset is to:

have fun
be horny
work on one or two things

The first rule of game is to have fun. If it becomes a chore you’re gonna be bored or too serious in sets and you are not gonna get results. You want to have fun, so put yourself into a state that will get you having fun.

All my openers are generally self amusing. I think they are funny so it puts me into the right state going into a set. Sometimes it’s outlandish.

Sometimes I’m saying something that SHOULD get me rejected but doesn’t. For example, “I want to impregnate you tonight”. It works because it puts you into a good state and is amusing plus she knows that a guy who NEEDS it to work isn’t going to say that.

You should be thinking about sex while you are with the girl. She can pick up on your sexual vibe and will get aroused herself. Your results will be better if you imagine her naked in your bed. Embrace it.

You should try to incorporate one or two new moves into your night. I wouldn’t push too much more than that because then it could spoil the fun.

New opener. New mid game technique. Lead more. Pick something and commit to trying it. Never criticize yourself in field.

Good Luck Player.

Title	Not sure what is the right mindset when going out and how to improve
Author	Bokolo0
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	April 15, 2026 2:06 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sm74o4/not_sure_what_is_the_right_mindset_when_going_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-sure-what-is-the-right-mindset-when-going-out.1578022 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578022

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