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[–]Coz7 7 points8 points9 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me it's only cheating if you hide it. So one night lays, multiple open relationships, multiple fuck buddies, multiple friends with benefits are all good.
On the other hand NO ONE can answer this question but you. It's a morality issue, you have your own morals.
[–]ImKumarYo 15 points16 points17 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That guy sounds like an insecure douchebag but he does have a point about how women react to you having options. Personally, I sleep with multiple women without cheating. Problem solved.
[–]blackdevildisco6 points 15 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I see the two as related, actually – he's an insecure douchebag, and that's why he feels the need to have options:
Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone
What. the. fuck. I mean, granted, getting laid is better than not getting laid, all things being equal... But should a man be so dependent on pussy that going without for awhile "rends his soul"? Jesus Christ. Especially once you've gotten laid a bunch, dry spells aren't as big of a deal.
I'm a big fan of having options, because I like having options. I'm a choice maximizer rather than a choice satisficer, if you will. I don't keep my options open out of some existential insecurity about being "alone."
Edit: misread your comment, I think we're actually saying the same thing; I agree that he has a point about how women react to you better when you have options.
[–]throwaway-o 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think we're actually saying the same thing;
Yes, yes you are.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 15 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Don't cheat. Be honest.
Edit: These two are not mutually exclusive.
[–]l3fth4nd 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I didn't read the whole article, but I think the idea is to have the option of being with other girls, not necessarily actively taking advantage of it. Cheating sucks, don't do it.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me, cheating is impossible unless you are in a committed monogamous relationship. If I have five different fuckbuddies, I am under no obligation to tell any of them about the others (or even a one night stand I might have). Similarly, women are under no obligation to tell me how many guys they are fucking . . . And I could care less.
At the same time, don't lead a girl on. I usually disqualify myself as 'bf material' early on by explaining i how I won't have time for an actual gf for a few years, due to grad school. No expectations = lots of fun for everyone
[–]rhicks21 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
in my opinion if you're single, or in an open kind of relationship, or really anything without that "boyfriend/girlfriend" label, any amount of girls at any certain time is A-OK! if you're in a relationship, talking and flirting innocently, to keep your game sharp, or something like that is ok, but acting on it constantly isn't really cool in my opinion. it is always good to have options, unless you want to be 100% invested in your SO.
[–]nonatal 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Puzzles But isn't this just the abundance mentality rephrased and in a coarser form? If you already know you have options there's no need to risk upsetting your whole relationship -- assuming you are monogamously inclined -- by having an actual mistress. You'll just be secure in the knowledge that if the relationship ends you can easily find another just as good.
[–]InferiousX 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
IMO you can have options and still be in a good monogamous relationship. Because that's all they are. Options.
Having the inner confidence to know that you can go meet someone new automatically removes a lot of the insecurities in guys that end up sabotaging relationships.
You have the "option" of going and meeting someone new. But you don't because you choose to be with the woman you're with. This is a very liberating and powerful mentality.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cheating isn't as bad as it's made out to be. It's a crappy symptom of monogamy and unfortunate for those who subscribe to monogamy. It's a burden for those who are attractive to constantly turn down forward attention for decades just because they are "married".
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[–]Coz7 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ImKumarYo 15 points16 points17 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackdevildisco6 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway-o 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]l3fth4nd 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rhicks21 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nonatal 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]InferiousX 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link