Realistically, how much effort/time is ok to spend on one girl?

same_vans · 2013-02-17T20:41:48+00:00

I think that is a mistake that many guys make, that they focus all of their time on to one girl. Instead focus on making as many relationships with exciting people, whether they are girls or guys and make an effort to make meaningful connections with them and invite them to hang out. You will build your social circle up with an abundance of women and that is the key. Once you are no longer worried about "losing" that girl you are crushing on and stop chasing her, the girls will start coming to you.

Although the second scenario may seem extreme, it is not unusual as I have slept with women I met less than an hour before. In all honesty, I find the less time you spend working on a girl the better. If you meet a girl you're interested in, demonstrate that interest early (not too early, remember attraction must be established before interest is shown otherwise you will come off as creepy) and see if it is reciprocated. If you see tells that she may be interested sometimes it is appropriate to make a move right then and there, sometimes its better to grab her number and ask her to grab FroYo with you later that week before you bring her back to your place and advance from there. Either way the longer you wait to progress sexually the more energy and time you waste. I like to know as soon as possible if she is down, or she isn't and on to the next one. Her loss, I have plenty of other pretty girls to hang out with.

acartoontiger · 2013-02-17T20:20:12+00:00

Put in as much effort as you think the girl deserves. I personally think that if no significant developments happen after 3 "dates" with a new girl then you should probably choose a different one. But it really depends how much time you are willing to spend pining for someone and not on the market for others.

TheSobadef · 2013-02-17T20:28:49+00:00

There isn't a rule of thumb to follow because everyone lives different situations.

If you get tunnel vision, you'll get overly invested with no guaranteed results. I'm not saying go fuck a bunch of other girls, just remember that you're a prize, and that she should reciprocate some of the effort.

knoww · 2013-02-18T04:26:42+00:00

Listen to your heart.

brjohns994 · 2013-02-17T20:26:41+00:00

Depends on the girl, bro. Some are more open to sex early on and some like to make you wait.

FittersGuy · 2013-02-18T05:16:44+00:00

You're not going to get a good answer for this one. I figure as long as things are advancing in the right direction, keep at it. If things kind of stop and aren't as interesting as things with another girl, bail out.

Depends what you're looking for too. Looking for a one night stand? One night (duh). Long term girlfriend? A few weeks is fine.

liek_i_said · 2013-02-18T00:26:27+00:00

If it's summer time, 500 days should do it.

The_DukeDevlin · 2013-02-17T21:00:03+00:00

I say go for it until there's no place to go. You gotta follow the rope until you reach the knot. Out of personal preference, I like to make sure I have sex before deciding anything long term. Sex is just a big part of my life, and a sexual incompatibility could lead to issues.

jack_sreason · 2013-02-18T02:31:37+00:00

My rule is that I'll put in up to 110% of what I'm getting back from a relationship. I'll make an effort to invest in a relationship, but there is a difference between investments and money pits; relationships and obsessions.

IntensePancakes · 2013-02-18T04:55:14+00:00

Ask yourself ultimately what you want from this girl. Do you want to see where it goes and possibly make her your girlfriend? Do you just want a fuck buddy or a platonic friend? Or do you just want a couple nights of fun and then move on?

If you really just stop and think about what you want from the girl and where you can see it going it should be clear how much effort and time you should put forth.

However, for ANY girl, you shouldn't put forth so much effort that it interferes with your daily life in a big way. You come first.

skeddles · 2013-02-18T05:49:05+00:00

Find out if she likes you as soon as you can, if she does, cool, if she doesn't, give up on her and move on to the next girl.

Life's too short to waste on chasing people who don't feel the same way about you, especially when there probably are some out there that would love you. I did the same thing in high school, 3 years. What a waste.

Title	Realistically, how much effort/time is ok to spend on one girl?
Author	breakoutoftheloop
Upvotes	36
Comments	18
Date	February 17, 2013 7:44 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/18pe21/realistically_how_much_efforttime_is_ok_to_spend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/realistically-how-much-efforttime-is-ok-to-spend.1347544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347544

Comments