Seduction as a submissive male

Optikputs · 2014-07-09T00:52:11+00:00

Unless you're super submissive, as in let's say, youre at a party and spot a girl you digg. Instead of going up to her you just try to get her to get to you, which prolly wont work cause the girl probably will be submissive too. If you're that submissive, you'll need to dominate a little bit.

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-07-09T01:31:34+00:00

If this is really a submissive fetish in the BDSM sense, it could be a problem for you to approach and seduce women, which in some sense is not submissive. But then, this is a known problem in the fetish community. Most subs would probably do better in an environment like a munch where everyone is assured to have similar interests. But even there, subs can be exploited easily.

I think your question is not really whether you can use this community's seduction methods. It is more about how to find someone who is a match for your desires, which are probably more specialized than ours. In that regard, you might do better to ask in a more directly related subreddit like /r/BDSMcommunity where people will probably have more direct experience.

Aldrich25 · 2014-07-09T04:39:40+00:00

You can, you just need to find your more aggressive counterpart. Ive found women who are overly bored, texting, looking for an excuse to leave a party fit this mold. Ask her if she's as bored as you. When she agrees ask her what other fun things there is to do that night. From here on out its nothing but 'yes that sounds so fun.' If you are submissive this should be your home, whatever she wants to do younare doing, give her an excuse to end the night with you, listen and respond, this isnt the time to just react. This is her world now, do whatever she needs to help meet your needs

HappyBull · 2014-07-09T08:42:06+00:00

You can still be you but also assert some dominance sometimes. I think Michael Cera in Scott Pilgrim plays a great example of it. He plays a pretty shy dude but was still assertive and got what he wanted just by asking and being himself.

2014-07-09T00:55:45+00:00

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IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-07-09T14:46:50+00:00

DISCLAIMER: Massive generalizations are going to follow. They are obviously not 100% correct. Please don't read too deeply into my words, but my underlying point. Sorry if it offends you, it's not my intention.

As a BDSM sub, IMO, calling oneself "submissive" is just a way to rationalize an inability to take responsibility for one's life. Not only are you boxing yourself into an identity that may or may not be true (i.e. self-fulfilling prophecy), it's something you can tell yourself so you don't feel responsible for your lifestyle. It allows you to attribute your personality traits as an inherent part of who you are, rather than something that could be changed with time and effort. And people like to believe that they're inherently so-and-so because it means they don't have to face the realization that they're not living up to their potential.

Could you ever do as well as a dominant male? Well, the problem with that question is that it's framed such that you view yourself and "dominant males" as separate entities. There's no reason you can't have a dominant side to your personality. But no, I don't think so.

I haven't seen submissive guys do very well in the game. I'm told it exists (e.g. RSD's stories of "broken man game"), but I haven't seen it personally. Maybe I need more experience, but I just haven't personally witnessed it going very well. You might rarely meet a girl who likes shyer guys, but that only happens once in a blue moon.

Should you try to change your submissive side? I think you should. I can't imagine being happy if I didn't place my personal well-being first. It doesn't mean I'll be a selfish dick, but I won't be a doormat to appease others (excluding extreme circumstances like taking care of my sick grandparents). But, part of me doesn't want to tell you how to live your life. It's not really my place.

I guess I just want you to start questioning, "Am I truly, truly that submissive? Or am I just using that as an excuse to not do shit?"

Rx_Love · 2014-07-09T19:03:39+00:00

Are you submissive by choice? or is that just how you are naturally? I know some guys have a thing for being submissive and its a lifestyle choice. If you're just shy and kind of a pushover, then you can either try to find a gal out there who finds that attractive (needle in a haystack but there is a gal out there for every kind of man) or you can play the "fake it till you make it" card

DaygameCoach · 2014-07-09T01:49:56+00:00

My buddy Knack (PUA/dating Coach) is here. He is a dom in the local BSDM community.

Knack says:

Seductions techniques absolutely can help in the BDSM community, however, it is important to note that the rules of conduct in the community are radically different than that of the "vanilla world." In some ways, they are much easier and in some ways significantly more difficult. You have to know what tactics to use and when as well as where.

Tactics:

Banter-
Be very playful (shows you will be entertaining beyond the scene) -
DHVs -
Sexual technique -
Body language reading-
Massive inner game work-

There is more but this is a start.

ctranger · 2014-07-09T06:49:52+00:00

I'm not going to mince words. Short answer: no.

You're basically asking us if you can get all the rewards of being an attractive male, without doing any work or personal growth whatsoever. Who do you think you are?

There's no shortcut to success. Your problem is your attitude. Can I still pass this test if I don't study? Can I make money if I don't show up to work? Sure, maybe. Sometimes you get lucky.

A polarity has to exist. There are 'dominant' women out there who are looking for more passive and submissive males. But, the odds are not in your favor. And to be honest, I don't know why you'd deny yourself the gift and awesome feeling of embracing your masculine core. So why make it harder for yourself?

omarm1984 · 2014-07-09T05:26:20+00:00

You are submissive because you are a beta. Once you practice and start getting good at game you will become very dominant and will laugh about having created this post.

Title	Seduction as a submissive male
Author	imthemanyesiam
Upvotes	9
Comments	33
Date	July 9, 2014 12:27 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2a713h/seduction_as_a_submissive_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seduction-as-a-submissive-male.1373327 https://theredarchive.com/post/1373327

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