Seeking cold approach advice

theasianplayboy · 2024-10-13T21:49:43+00:00

When you’re getting back into the cold approach game, especially after a long hiatus, the key is to avoid overthinking and waiting for the perfect opportunity. That moment rarely comes.

Start by being in the moment and engaging with women in low-pressure ways—asking for help with a product at the grocery store, for example. The goal is to build momentum and confidence with small interactions. Don’t worry about perfection, just get the ball rolling with simple, easy asks.

Here’s a couple of psychology backed ways to manage approach anxiety: https://youtu.be/Qo4Y-3FkMYQ

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-10-13T22:15:47+00:00

One thing I learned from doing cold approach: in most cases there’s never a perfect time, a perfect place, a perfect woman, or a perfect everything, as your brain will keep giving you an excuse: “the water” is too cold, maybe tomorrow, I’m not in good mood, she’s out of my league, the last one really destroyed my confidence, what if people see me, what am I gonna say it to her, I just passed by her and she didn’t even notice me, and so and so on.

You need to create the moment for yourself, it doesn’t come out of nowhere. And in most cases they like it when they’re being approached on, it’s like “oh shit, my workout/makeup/clothing style does pay off.”

MSHUser · 2024-10-14T17:25:43+00:00

My biggest hold up is I always look for the perfect opportunity to approach and it never comes.

My advice here is to let those opportunities show up to you. There are 2 ways this could go down. 1. A woman planting herself next to you or 2. You see one you find attractive, want to talk to, and you go up to her and talk to her. When I say let the opportunity come up to you, I mean let life show you the woman you find attractive (which means you don't worry about finding a girl to talk to), and this will motivate you to find ways to talk to her (of course not at the expense of you putting your current tasks on hold). You specified the gym and grocery shopping so I'll share some insights on both.

In the gym, most people are there to exercise. If you see a woman you do find attractive, the best times are usually before and after a workout. This is because when they're working out, they're currently in the zone. Even then, if you're both working out and you're using stations next to each other, you can def strike up a natural conversation with her as long as you keep them short and sweet (unless the both of you are interested in that topic, in which case, you have a natural window to keep it going). If you're not working out next to each other, you could pass her way and just give her quick and friendly "hey" or "hi" as you make your way to your next station to follow your workout routine. This helps her register your presence so she's aware who you are, helping build presence. All and all, treat the gym like a very serious social circle. Be friendly and sociable with the staff, which sets you up for the long run. You'll want to interact within a span of a few days to build familiarity, and take it a bit deeper the next time you see her. This is more of a slowburn.

Obv there are some exceptions i.e if you can tell she's highly attracted to you from the get-go, or you managed to get into a really interesting conversation when meeting her the first day, then in those situations I would suggest getting her contact info. But usually, gyms are mostly a slowburn environment since you're seeing the same people consistently (that also depends on the time and day you do go to).

Grocery stores are actually not that bad. Think about the reasons why you would go to a grocery store. To pick up ingredients to cook meals, buy home decorators, etc. You can use this to create threads of similar conversations such as the meals you cook, your cleaning methods, your favourite snack, etc. Tap into that. The only challenge I would say here is starting that conversation and her openness to meeting someone in that environment. The last one you can't control, the first one you can. I would make it relevant to the context i.e "you have a really nice style." "I love that flavour of cake, you got good taste" or if you're familiar with the ingredients she has in her cart "is the plan to cook this meal tonight?"

Just make sure it's something that actually caught you're attention and not a line you're just feeding her.

With that said the other comments are right. There's not always going to be a perfect moment and sometimes you just gotta go for it. If you can spot an easy or natural situation to take advantage of, by all means lean into that. But if you really want to talk to her and there aren't any "natural" opportunities to do that, then go balls deep (by this I mean just be straight up direct with her.)

Note: What I'm suggesting here, I don't want you to read this and come up with very flimsy excuses that you can try to talk to women following this. You have to be at these environments for genuine reasons like actually working out or grocery shopping. Even if you follow my advice, because you're trying to fake the situation, it sends your body the signal that you're being dishonest. This affects your current body language which she will then pick up. Follow these tips and turn it into an integrated strategy. If you don't see a woman you wanna talk to, focus on living your life. This naturally puts you in your best and honest mood in case those opportunities come.

epimpstyle · 2024-10-15T00:50:04+00:00

I always said not to be a weirdo and approach women in the gym, leave it to teenagers and YouTuber creators because if they do something stupid it is forgivable, they say "it was a social experiment", the gym is not a good place for that.

Grocery stores/shopping, streets, bus stations, parks are perfect if you're not going to bars/events with your friends.

The perfect opportunity to approach does not exist, but you can create a good opportunity to make things easier. So when is the perfect time? Whenever you want, because you create the right moment... everything happens inside your mind. When you see a woman you can be "Awesome! I will go talk to her because it is the perfect moment to tell her something" or you can be "OMG, there is a woman who looks approachable but so bad because it is not the right moment like in the movies... it should be Friday, a street artist should be singing a song nearby, there should be no other people on the street, no cars on the road, she should look at me, then she should stumble and before she falls I will catch her .... well... I'm not that lucky...too bad! This is not the right moment".

I always make an excuse to myself and believe they’re busy or something like that.

This is an interesting excuse you have created not to approach her, but if she is busy, what happens? She will tell you she is busy and you will tell her "ok, no worries" and leave. But if she is not busy, you are missing an opportunity. It is good to use common sense and see when someone is in a hurry or something like that, but not always assume the worst, because in this example it looks like the world is only made up of busy women and there is no chance to talk to them. Why don't you just assume that she's friendly and wants to make new friends? If you are wrong, no problem, you can even tell her: "I thought you were friendly because you look cool" This will put pressure on her and make her feel ashamed that you think she is not friendly because everyone wants to be seen as friendly and cool, there are high chances that she will be like: "oh sorry, I don't have a good day bla bla bla....."

GENERALSECRTRY · 2024-10-14T17:58:23+00:00

you sure cold approach is the right way fwd? theres probably a few dozen guys on tiktok who do them with hidden cameras, and you never see any of them on dates, nor do you see them hanging out with females in their leisure time. that says something. they tell you that you shouldnt be afraid to approach females but their results or lack of it, kind of speak for themselves.

KoleSekor · 2024-10-20T03:52:16+00:00

Step 1- enter fun, playful physiological state

Step 2 - break the ice with ideally both a comment then a question about something you observe about her or the location you're both in. This is designed to get her out of her head and into the present moment with you.

Step 3 - demonstrate your romantic interest in her with a genuine, believable, unique compliment

Step 4 - ask questions about her passions and do much more listening than talking.

Happy to break down more strategies just dm me

Title	Seeking cold approach advice
Author	JJ55k
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	October 13, 2024 8:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1g2zofp/seeking_cold_approach_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seeking-cold-approach-advice.1533635 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533635

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