Seriously though... Conversation topics?

drumdance · 2012-01-09T21:24:30+00:00

Here are some questions I copied from some web site a while back.

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

Gradually, the questions became more probing and personal:

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Finally, as the hour approached, the questions pressed the pair on their deeper life values:

What do you value most in a friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is your most terrible memory?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
What does friendship mean to you?
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Make three true "we" statements each. For instance "We are both in this room feeling..."
Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I also used a few deliciously probing variants on the original questions, including these from a similar study:

If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?
Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
While on a trip to another city, your spouse (or lover) meets and spends a night w/ an exciting stranger. Given they will never meet again, and you will not otherwise learn of the incident, would you want your partner to tell you about it?

LeSpatula · 2012-01-09T23:43:20+00:00

Most people like to talk, especially about themselves. I don't, but the trick is to let the people talk. Just ask open questions and then go from there. In their memory, they had a good talk with you when actually you didn't talk a lot at all. Open questions are great to keep a a discussion about a subject going.

E.g. Jobs:

Wrong question: Do you like your job?

Good questions: Why did you decide to become a X? How do you like your co-workers? When did you start there? How long do you think you will stay there? And remember every response because you could use them to ask other questions, if you don't know what to talk about anymore. And it shows her that you pay attention. So, if you asked all the questions above you could ask "So, you said you originally wanted to become a Y and decided later to become X, why didn't you chose Y?"

Lanza21 · 2012-01-10T05:59:31+00:00

You lack confidence. Trust me. I could walk up to a girl and ask her whether she likes vegetables or not and develop from there.

You lack confidence in the pointlessness of the interaction. Not confidence in yourself or what the outcome could be, but confidence in the face of judgement based on what you say.

You need to numb yourself to the awkwardness and rejection. At that point what you say doesn't matter. From there, the things you say become natural and effective regardless. Go up to girls and say "do you like vegetables?" After a handful of awkward moments, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

puaCurveBall · 2012-01-09T21:18:29+00:00

Talk about whatever the fuck you want to talk about, THAT is confidence.

Every girl is different, the only constant in any pickup is going to be yourself. Figure out what is interesting to you and talk about it.

RyanOnymous · 2012-01-09T21:05:49+00:00

Check out Kezia's 10 Hook Lead System. Basically, by avoiding an "interview" type situation that puts the girl into autopilot drone-mode, you lead with questions, humour, challenges and other things that leave her with no choice but to open up and engage in a dialog. This in turn should open up a wealth of information to talk about.

2012-01-10T00:09:41+00:00

Open up to them, and get them to open up to you. Ask them about their dreams in life, their goals for the future, their passions and why they are so passionate about it. Dig deep and open up, you'll be surprised what you find some people burying.

chillbrodude · 2012-01-10T00:20:09+00:00

Yo dude, I sometimes get the same way especially if I've been smokin the reefer or something... anyways, here's my usual strategy if I'm stuck.

Start with something trite and general like "What's your major?"

Depending on what you get for an answer, do one of two things. Set yourself up to tell a story or share something about yourself, if you've got anything, like "Oh my friend Bob is a communications major too, do you know him? He lived in my dorm freshman year, some crazy shit went down that year, etc" and roll from there.

Or, if you still haven't got anything particular worth talking about on your end, ask a more specific (but still open ended) question like "Why did you get into communications?" which will hopefully set them up to talk about themselves for a while.

Rinse and repeat if the conversation dies, hopefully they'll be asking you questions too so it should get easier.

MARSpu · 2012-01-10T01:28:34+00:00

I've begun using "tell me something interesting about yourself." Works pretty well or it isn't worth pursuing.

YeOldeThrowaway · 2012-01-09T21:51:05+00:00

How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

Title	Seriously though... Conversation topics?
Author	chillinatthecomp
Upvotes	12
Comments	24
Date	January 9, 2012 8:44 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o9r4b/seriously_though_conversation_topics/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seriously-though-conversation-topics.1326727 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326727

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