Should I ask for her number before or after my 3 week trip?

vertascend · 2026-03-07T22:44:33+00:00

It’s a difficult situation buddy, you’re correct the feelings may not be there when you return if you don’t act now… here’s the down of getting her number now however, getting the number and not messaging will make her feel rejected; getting her number and making small talk is a sure fire way to kill attraction and you will lose her; I would suggest to talk to her and get her number; tell her you didn’t want to leave without at least saying hi but you’d like to take her out when you get back; don’t text messages like “how’s your day” or “miss you”, but rather use it to arrange the date three weeks from now and not a moment later, she needs to be your first priority when you’re back

PlantainExpensive360 · 2026-03-07T21:30:07+00:00

There's too much risk if she doesn't see you for 3 weeks. She could totally forget if she doesn't know where you are

I'd suggest a middle solution : you talk to her for like a few mins, make her laugh, you somewhat mention you'll be away for 3 weeks, and you don't get her number yet. The thing is to make her know you're interested in her and that you'll be away.

It's my opinion, get others before making a decision

Long8D · 2026-03-09T03:23:54+00:00

Bro ait until you're back without a doubt.

Getting the number right before a 3 week trip is one of the worst things you can do. You're basically signing yourself up to be a texting buddy from a distance for 3 weeks straight which kills all the tension and mystery before you've even had a chance to build anything real in person. By the time you get back you've already used up all your material over text and the whole thing feels stale before it started.

If you get the number and then not message her for 3 weeks, then it's also not a good look.

And don't listen to whoever told you to get the number now and just warm her up over text. That's a great way to get friendzoned from another country while you're supposed to be enjoying your trip. The people who try to warm up in the texts will usually get friend zoned, or they'll say some stupid shit that sounds good in person but terrible in text and fumble. Most people are not good texters, me included.

The signals aren't going anywhere. If she's been choosing you for a while already she's not going to forget you exist in 3 weeks. If anything coming back after a trip gives you the perfect natural opener to talk about, you seem well traveled and interesting, and you're approaching her fresh instead of as the guy she's been texting mid conversation for weeks.

Your best bet would be to finally saying something to her, comment something funny around you to get yourself on her mind.

Go on your trip, enjoy it, come back and then you'll have another opener why you weren't there for so long. Maybe she'll even ask you herself.

And when you get the number, have a quick chat, set the date and that's it. No texting all day, no sending her pictures of your trip, no good morning messages trying to keep her warm.

Anything beyond that is just filler that's actually working against you. The more you text before you've even been on a date the more you're giving away for free and the less reason she has to actually show up. The tension bleeds and at sometimes people just get tired of the routine and ghost. Mystery does more work than a 3 week text conversation ever will.

TotalleeSerious · 2026-03-08T14:10:05+00:00

I say get the number before.. as your out on vacation you can hit her up and chat a little bit then when you get back you’ll get a much warmer welcome back greeting ..

Title	Should I ask for her number before or after my 3 week trip?
Author	thenuttyhazlenut
Upvotes	0
Comments	11
Date	March 7, 2026 9:01 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rnl9m4/should_i_ask_for_her_number_before_or_after_my_3/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-ask-for-her-number-before-or-after-my-3.1574947 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574947

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