Should I stop going for the low hanging fruit?

Haunting_Bid_408 · 2026-05-28T14:53:56+00:00

I can't settle for less than I want. Not fair to the girl either. Ideal prototype is crazy though

FragrantPromotion435 · 2026-05-28T14:31:11+00:00

Yeah bro, this is exactly my dilemma too. All the girls I really like the very hot ones are the ones where I tend to mess up the approaches, the texting, and sometimes even the dates overall. But with the girls I’m less attracted to, I can get them into bed pretty easily. The problem is that it’s never something long-term.

I notice pretty quickly that I don’t actually want them, while they often want something more with me. That makes me feel bad, and sometimes a bit annoyed too. So honestly, I think the best move is to keep shooting your shots only with the girls you genuinely like and are interested in.

The other stuff just becomes empty dopamine in the long run. So keep focusing on your grind, cut down the porn (if you have Problem with it) and dopamine overload, and stay disciplined. I honestly wouldn’t recommend chasing those quick dopamine hits anymore.

But yeah, I know the feeling too. Last weekend I had a girl in my bed that I wasn’t really attracted to, and my erection was basically gone after like five minutes.

AlvaroUrdaneta · 2026-05-28T16:41:12+00:00

If you’re looking for a long term relationship, then yeah, you probably need to stop letting “easy wins” set your direction.

Having fun is fine. Getting reps is useful. Sometimes going for women outside your usual type can teach you a lot about yourself. But if you already know these girls are not close to what you actually want, then at some point you’re just using momentum to avoid boredom or rejection.

That can become a trap.

Because the low hanging fruit gives you quick validation. You get the close, you feel wanted, the ego gets fed. But then you look up and realize you’re still not building the kind of dating life you actually want.

I wouldn’t say sit around bored waiting for “the one” either. That’s too passive. You still need to approach, socialize, flirt, and keep your energy moving. But your standards should guide your effort more than your need for dopamine.

If a girl is fun but clearly not aligned with what you want long term, enjoy the interaction honestly, but don’t let it distract you from approaching the women who actually fit your vision.

The real question is whether you’re dating from intention or just taking whatever comes easiest after rejection.

Feel free to message me if you have questions, dms open.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-05-29T02:35:45+00:00

Depends on the goals. I always find it way more fun seeing a girl for awhile I’m genuinely interested in vs just another one night stand

plz_callme_swarley · 2026-05-28T23:57:22+00:00

what kinda dumb question is this? if you want a long term relationship then dont settle for quick dopamine lol.

the better strategy is to set your standards based on LTR you'll still end up fucking and churning out a decent number of girls. no one is just flipping the LTR switch automatically.

and then as you date around you'll end up with some that are more down for casual and you can fill them in the gaps when you hit a rough patch while you're out there looking for your LTR

Title	Should I stop going for the low hanging fruit?
Author	Redditor_2020_
Upvotes	7
Comments	17
Date	May 28, 2026 2:21 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tq52sv/should_i_stop_going_for_the_low_hanging_fruit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-stop-going-for-the-low-hanging-fruit.1581494 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581494

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