Should I take more risks when flirting with a girl?

DaygameCode · 2025-01-19T11:43:29+00:00

It’s not your job to avoid rejection, it’s your job to be willing to get rejected. Those who want to avoid rejection never get laid.

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-01-19T11:43:44+00:00

If u are struggling it and have problems with calibration. Here are few tips which always work.

Flirting. There are lot of things what constitutes to flirting. But if u have no idea then u can do two things. Look her straight into the eyes when u are talking. And when she is taking look at her lips. Obviously u can alternate. It should be enough to create a spark. And is totally safe from rejection.

Touching. Ideally u want that she would touch you. For that u can give a logical reason to do so. Like “here, feel my jeans material”. Or “can u scratch my back” or “here look how soft my forearm is” etc. the same thing when u want to touch her give logical reason to do so, like “let’s do arm wrestling”, “do u want to learn different types of handshakes” , “have u played thumbs war” etc. Logical reasons to touch is quite safe I never got rejected.

Saying of sexual nature. The idea is to talk sexually while meaning totally differently. For example, u can start talking about gaming. And then u can say I only play candy crush. And then say stuff like “So, u wanna see it? I can pull from my pants. Don’t worry u will like it is very big.” Say this very casually like it’s totally normal. And then just pull your phone from your pants and show how big/high your candy crush level is. If she interprets this situation as something else, u can always tease her that she has dirty mind.

Those are relatively safe options.

Dwerg1 · 2025-01-19T11:27:13+00:00

Better to risk her rejecting you than guaranteeing it by rejecting yourself before even trying.

nuclearmeltdown2015 · 2025-01-19T19:12:07+00:00

Your question isn't should I take more risk, it sounds like you know the answer is yes already but you want to know how to do it.

What helped me a lot was to get comfortable with opening to physical touch immediately so it didn't become this hurdle later on.

Lets say you meet a girl right from the start you're like patting their back, or tapping their shoulders and hands to get their attention when you walk away and come back, so they're used to that contact and you also get a feel for their response if there is any, I think this is the way to go about it because escalating further feels a lot more natural and easier to read the vibe that the girl is welcoming to it. Let's say you grab her hand when talking to her later and she doesn't respond negatively then you can try to use your fingers to move back and forth and tease the back of her hand or palm a little and see her response.

Compare this to not touching at all for the entire date except maybe a hug at the start and end, it's a lot harder to cross that hurdle so you end up in the friend zone.

As long as she doesn't say something like stop or push you away or pull herself away then you should take that as a good sign and just keep tip toeing with small touches like that, not like instantly sticking on her like a barnacle but yea them if she doesn't complain then later on you can do things like walk up to her and kind of put your hands on her hips and see kind of keep going from there.

The point is to just do small steps like I said and increase slowly, and always listen to her feedback from her physical response. It's also exciting to see how far you can push. If you do it at the right amount and right pace you can push it pretty far, but the point is to start small and early, not be no touch for 4-5 dates so it becomes this awkward hurdle to cross and escalate like you're experiencing now.

If she says stuff like what are you doing, i look her in the eyes and smile and tell her I'm just feeling her and enjoying myself and ask her if she wants me to stop, if she says yes then do it but if not then keep going haha. Good luck.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-01-19T11:44:52+00:00

When your flirting you should be sexually escalating too. This means making good eye contact, getting closer to her, lightly touching her like a brief hug or a high five. After a little bit of this she should give you a look, like a devil look in her eyes and kind of smile at you. Or she'll just look at you and not say anything. That's when you go for the kiss. She might look down at your lips too.

You have to pickup on the subtle body language cues she's giving off.

This is what many guys lack. The ability to see the body language and react appropriately to it.

Netherus · 2025-01-20T15:53:35+00:00

Two points:

- 1, we should be aware of the social norm

- 2, you should reframe your thinking regarding "taking risks". If you're a confident and self-assured guy, you shouldn't be as invested in the girls' opinions of you, as your own opinion of yourself. Hence, you should follow your ideals and beliefs, not compromising them depending on other people's opinions. In that case, you just say things you think should be said (within reason, see point 1). From this viewpoint, you're not risking anything, you're just being true to yourself. If the girl doesn't like it and rejects it, sucks, but maybe you wouldn't be really compatible. If she likes your approaches, good!!

audhdlover · 2025-01-19T14:48:41+00:00

Flirting is low level game.

You dont need to flirt, all you need to do is ask her on a date, flirting is basically you seeing if she’s interested and is actually best used when you’re NOT interested.

When you’re NOT interested you’re flirting is effortless because you dgaf

psycholatte · 2025-01-20T09:12:59+00:00

13th commandment of poon: Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-01-21T20:11:41+00:00

It's a better strategy overall to take risks than not take them.

It's an even better strategy to have checkpoints to KNOW where you stand in the seduction process. For example some cues will tell you she is ready to be moved, to kiss , to be pulled and so on .

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-01-21T20:12:08+00:00

It's a better strategy overall to take risks than not take them.

It's an even better strategy to have checkpoints to KNOW where you stand in the seduction process. For example some cues will tell you she is ready to be moved, to kiss , to be pulled and so on .

Wncnudist · 2025-01-19T21:19:46+00:00

Yes absolutely.

TheRealJamesHoffa · 2025-01-20T00:08:49+00:00

In my experience you need to be slowly but steadily escalating the whole time you’re talking to them basically. Start with moving closer, light touching, strong eye contact, hold her hand if she lets you, and then eventually you go in for the kiss. If she’s reciprocating or not rejecting you along the way at any of these steps it’s a pretty clear sign that she’s comfortable with you enough to keep going. But if you’re just sitting around talking/flirting all night without escalating she’s gonna get bored and nothing is gonna happen. She’ll start to see you as a friend instead pretty quickly.

Title	Should I take more risks when flirting with a girl?
Author	Contrapuntobrowniano
Upvotes	32
Comments	28
Date	January 19, 2025 10:53 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i4vyts/should_i_take_more_risks_when_flirting_with_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-take-more-risks-when-flirting-with-a-girl.1541565 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541565

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