Shutting Up

UnderstandableEnigma · 2012-03-27T14:39:09+00:00

The amount of awkwardness in silence is based on one main factor, comfort. If someone is truly comfortable with you and vice versa, there's no such thing as an awkward silence.

Think of your oldest friend, your mum, your dad, can you not just sit there in total silence, for hours if you wanted to and not feel the slightest bit awkward?

Now imagine some random dude you've just been introduced to, you now have to spend an hour sat next to him on the train. You've been introduced, so you start talking, but 20 minutes later the conversation runs completely dry and you're just sat there with nothing to do but look out the window or at him. Awkward, right?

So, how do you build comfort? Two main factors, kino and eye contact. I'm going to go over the why first, then give you resources to approach the how yourself.

I can't put into words exactly why kino and eye contact build comfort, but imagine this scenario. A guy walks up to a girl, he's charismatic, he's interesting, attractive, but he either stands a foot away and doesn't touch her at all and every 2 or 3 seconds he'll just look at the floor or around the room, or the dude's right next to her and touches far too much and looks into her eyes, but doesn't blink and never looks away. In these situations the guy either comes out as a bit socially awkward or a total creep, it's because he got the kino and eye contact wrong. That touch on the arm, the look into her eyes, the guiding her through a crowded bar by her hand, that's what makes a girl comfortable around you. I'm a very logical person, and it really bugs me that I can't put this into words, but this is just one of those things that just 'is'.

Now for those resources: Eye contact, BAM! This is a great article, taking pointers from a man you should all be using as an example, Bill Clinton. The man is a mother fucking genius, he managed to have a personal relationship with an entire country, and the relationship was so good he had his intern blow him, everyone found out and everyone still loves him. I would love to chill with a 20 year old Bill Clinton, or even present day Bill Clinton, you know that would be a fucking epic night.

As for kino, BA-BAM! Sweet, succinct, to the point information on how to kino. It works, it's understandable, just memorise it and internalise it and use it to get a girl from stranger to comfortable to naked.

Enjoy!

obviously_subtle · 2012-03-27T13:07:02+00:00

How much: just enough. How to know ? Calibration. Listen to her, you can say "yes", or "go on" but without sounding like a psychanalist. If you want to look mysterious, you have to be silent but look sad-angry but as if you were trying to hide it from her. It's not a sure thing, and never forget there is a really thin line between mysterious and boring, and it changes from girl to girl.

Woetren · 2012-03-27T14:00:34+00:00

Sad angry is a really easy look to get.

To get the hang of it, get in front of a mirror and get a really good scowl going, then slowly relax the muscles in your face until your skin stops wrinkling around your eyebrows/in your lips. After a little bit of practice you'll know where to stop before hitting full scowl.

Voilà, perfect sad/angry every time.

The look itself comes from the tension in the skin/muscles in your forehead and surrounding your mouth, which is why this works.

thedangerboy · 2012-03-27T14:29:28+00:00

Practice, practice, practice. You won't know until you do it.

mrlogjam · 2012-03-27T17:22:56+00:00

Check out this video from Gambler. You want to build sexual tension.

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jemci/the_ultimate_richard_gambler_video/

jimii · 2012-03-27T17:28:19+00:00

I was thinking about this myself. I think if done in the right way and at the right times, staying 'quiet' can convey a great amount self-confidence.

As opposed to people who have to talk about everything all the time. One of the most annoying things ever imo.

iznou · 2012-03-27T18:04:54+00:00

You could probably pull a girl completely non-verbally.

Title	Shutting Up
Author	ladada2001
Upvotes	14
Comments	20
Date	March 27, 2012 12:43 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rfrqg/shutting_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/shutting-up.1292128 https://theredarchive.com/post/1292128

Comments