So I've read Models and changed my mindset but I still have no clue what to talk to women about...

JessePinkman88 · 2015-03-16T10:17:20+00:00

It's great that you've read those books, they've helped me alot. My take away from these books is that by working on yourself and putting yourself first, you get to a point where you are not thinking about "what do i say? what do i talk about?".

That is coming from the mindset of needing to be perfect or impressing others by saying what you think will keep their attention. If talking about those topics (that you mentioned) genuinely excites you, then talk about them! That's what vulnerabilty is, showing who you really are rather than playing it safe and trying to fit in. A polarizing man does not try to fit in with the women or the group, he expresses himself unashamedly and they accept you or they don't. Either way, you're feeling great as your being yourself.

It might mean that you turn away alot of boring girls who will not meet your needs long term, but rather attract those intellectual or politcal type girls who you'll have alot of fun and challenging conversations with.

Lastly, you can develop your communication skills on a daily basis by chatting openly with your friends, colleagues, family or anyone that you feel like! Don't worry about what to talk about, as long as your intentions are fun or genuine interest, people will respond. Ask someone how they are going and just wing it and see what happens. If that feels uncomfortable, remember that is a part of being vulnerable and accepting you're not perfect. Do this every day and just build the habit of chatting about whatever comes to mind.

(edit: I am an introvert also, according to personality tests, and I am now at the point where I feel like I can talk to anyone and hold a conversation and be genuinely interested too. Don't let the label define what you're capable of.).

(edit2: Mark Manson talks about becoming well rounded as well, like taking interest in general topics like travel, music, tv shows, current events etc By becoming INTERESTED in a wide variety of subjects, you become INTERESTING).

FatherSun · 2015-03-16T12:50:38+00:00

If you can lead into this http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html (the url is weird but trust me) this will change your life

recyclablebantha · 2015-03-16T12:50:45+00:00

Here's my issue, I still have no idea what the fuck you're meant to talk about with a woman you've just met...

How do you talk to a guy you've just met? How do kids know how to talk to each other? What do they do? They just walk up and start talking. They don't know someone? They walk over and say something simple like, "Hi, I don't know you. My name is ______, what's yours?" Sure, this is just an introduction, but the mindset applies throughout a conversation.

You talk to her, and more importantly, you listen. You could ask her any old question. Say you asked her where she was from. Then you can ask her how she liked that place or what brought her to where she is now. Overall, getting at her emotions and motivations regarding whatever you're discussing, is key.

I'm a textbook introverted rational, INTJ for those up to speed on their MBTI. I don't understand small talk, I don't think I ever will.

Small talk is not small talk. You think it's meaningless. That's only because your focus is in the wrong place. So much that anyone says, is an opportunity to learn more about them as a person. Every piece of "small talk" is an opportunity to dig deeper.

Get me started on economics of government subsidised alternative medicine or the ethics of pharmaceutical drug marketing and I can talk all night.

Right, but then you're not really having a conversation, are you? You're delivering a monologue in multiple pieces. The problem that you're onto is that you're talking with another person. The solution is that you work harder to pay attention to their replies to what you've said. Because if you can do this, she will literally GIVE you information regarding what to talk about.

-Ratel- · 2015-03-16T19:17:48+00:00

Those books are mainly mindset or inner game books (though models has a bit of external game). In order to implement that stuff you need some basic social skills =external game=, which you are lacking. The most effective way in acquiring these social skills is by demand i.e. going out, discovering what you need to work on, back to the lab to study a little then off to field test that shit, one step at a time.

So, for small talk you could start with this video that will give you a comprehensive idea of what to say. There are some articles on this sub about small talk too. Internalize those concepts, then go out practice. Make small talk with the door man, old lady in the street, people at the elevator, bus stop... Then work yourself to girls, and then attractive girls. Eventually you will find that something is lacking, then back to lab...

You will improve a lot faster by staying in field and reading on demand than becoming a forum theorist (I know, I walked both paths).

PM_ME_UR_UNWIPED_BUM · 2015-03-16T21:53:56+00:00

Elevating small talk to medium talk

AusCro · 2015-03-16T13:49:50+00:00

Comment on you're surroundings. I've been working on conversation for a while, and what I think you want to know is Who What When Where How Why. This gives you questions to ask based on you're surroundings if you don't know what to talk about. Asking What they've been doing at the start of a conversation and then commenting on what they've been talking about perpetuates conversation.

"What did you do today?" "I went shopping." "Where did you go?" "SomeRandomPlace" "I love somerandomplace, except for ThatWeirdThingNearby" "I know right! The other day I went by and....."

Note that this is just basic small talk I pull out with strangers. This just helps you with talking shit every second. After you can do this, then you need to seddit it up, something I'm also trying to learn myself

Zerachiell319 · 2015-03-16T12:03:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	So I've read Models and changed my mindset but I still have no clue what to talk to women about...
Author	Vorrei
Upvotes	11
Comments	17
Date	March 16, 2015 7:07 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2z7kqx/so_ive_read_models_and_changed_my_mindset_but_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-ive-read-models-and-changed-my-mindset-but-i.1286201 https://theredarchive.com/post/1286201

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