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Some resources for improving your speaking voice and body language.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-05-01T06:35:20+00:00

I stumbled across some interesting free PDFs by Toastmasters International that are designed for public speakers and presenters, but there is much good info...

ThrowawayPUA

May 1, 2012

100 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Some resources for improving your speaking voice and body language.
Author	ThrowawayPUA
Upvotes	100
Comments	13
Date	May 1, 2012 6:35 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t17de/some_resources_for_improving_your_speaking_voice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/some-resources-for-improving-your-speaking-voice.1332077 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332077

Comments

[–]DarkGamer 4 points5 points6 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA[S] 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pk_atheist 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

Do it dude. I had promised some people a while ago that I'd videotape myself, and just haven't gotten around to getting a decent video/microphone thing that would work (and I don't really have any money).

Don't even show it to anyone else if you don't want to, but take a video of yourself and see how it corresponds to other guys you see during the day/at night. I don't know how you'd be able to videotape your own body language unless you have a friend with you, but you can still record conversations and see the reactions of the girls if you have a little cam hidden in your chest or whatever. I've tried to record myself on my iphone but it never really worked that well.

Also take a look at public speakers/politicians. Seriously just go to youtube and look for anyone giving a "public" speech or any politician. Watch what they do and how they do it. Most of them (including every president, like Obama) have instructors who basically teach them how to do shit. Obama was already decent at talking to groups since he was a professor, but he still has at least 2-3 mentors who literally show him how to convey his body language a certain way, how to talk a certain way, and all kinds of other shit (and they're all paid a ton of money to do it).

You can watch various youtube vids and pick up on what these guys are doing, but the problem is you're not gonna be able to accurately judge yourself if you don't have a video/mic with you. It simply isn't possible for us to judge ourselves that way without seeing it from an outsider's perspective. You really should get some shit and watch yourself though -- yeah, there's a chance that you'll end up questioning everything you do (that's natural), but then you'll also be able to see certain things like "I talked wayyy too fast when she mentioned XYZ, and my body language turned shitty when she started doing blah blah blah."

Edit: I've seen myself in certain situations (mainly when things were getting taped for school) where somebody would ask me a certain question that I wasn't prepared for, or said something I didn't like at all, and you'd literally see my shoulders slouch over like I'm some kind of sloth. I'd never notice that shit if I didn't see a video of it happening (because it's not very obvious -- my shoulders slouch a little bit, but it's so fuckin obvious when you see it on tape). But it's like my physical body wants to "protect" me from accusations or whatever other questionable shit, and my shoulders automatically respond by slouching a bit. Even though psychologically I still have the same mindset, physically my body has this almost evolutionary reaction, which basically projects "I'm scared, and now I'm gonna defend myself." So it helps to see that and recognize those situations so you can consciously avoid doing that shit in the future (or change your entire mindset so it doesn't happen in the first place).

[–]ErX29 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

What you put in your edit is completely true. Yesterday we had family dinner and me and my uncle (who's a psychologist with like 20 years experience) talked alot about body language and generating trust with other people.

At one point he told me that the body reacts instantly while the mind processes and only then speaks (generally lies), but people always see and understand your physical reaction. He told me of a very common experiment generally done in groups of three. One has to tell a story. Meanwhile, one would pay lots of attention but give discomforting body language. Meanwhile, the other person has to think about what's in their fridge right now, but they must face the other person and look at their face.

Results? Storyteller always ends up looking more, and feeling more comfortable around, the 2nd person (fridge person). What a mindfuck, huh?

Edit: If it's of any interest, he also told me that conversations are like a dance. He told me most people and even many psychologists put body language as if it was a dictionary, such as "pockets in hands or crossed arms means discomfort", but it's a classic example of correlation vs. causation. What if it's cold? What if he/she has something on his/her shirt he/her doesn't want you to see? What matters is not the music you dance (signs/posture you take) as long as you're dancing in synchronization with the other person. If the other person is closed in their space, don't jump in, but stay in yours and be open. If the other person is speaking softly, don't be hyperactive and yelling. It's a pretty neat idea.

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree with everything here except some of that last part -- for this:

What if it's cold? What if he/she has something on his/her shirt he/her doesn't want you to see?

That situation isn't very common. Sometimes it's cold, or sometimes someone has an itch, or whatever. Most of the time though, they're crossing their arms because they're not completely comfortable, no matter the reason. Or itching their nose for the same reason. If they happen to have something on their shirt that they don't want me to see, that only helps me to ascertain that they want to present a certain "aspect" to me (the "best" aspect).

So what I'd kinda disagree with is the notion that you need to interact with someone within their own "territory." Often with girls who are prudish/anti-social, it helps you to take over a certain role by being super social/anti-prude, and they'll follow your lead, since both of those actions tend to exemplify the leadership role, and their actions tend to exemplify the "follower" role.

Obviously it's not cut in stone, but if a girl flips her hair or looks down and to the side, I can almost always assume she's at least somewhat interested sexually. And I can act on that notion, and then figure out if it was legit or if she was really just showing a nervous tic. We all have nervous tics (my main ones would be scratching my chin and probably crossing my arms), but that doesn't mean they're separate from "attraction." Even with certain guys, I'll cross my arms as a defense mechanism, but in reality I'm attracted to them -- not in a sexual way necessarily, but I'm still attracted to their personas on some level. IMO the same is true for any other nervous tic -- it can present itself constantly in many different forms, but as a guy who's trying to get with a girl, you really shouldn't be concerned with the "irrelevant" forms it might take. Watch her body language, and you'll pretty easily be able to tell what her intentions are (with plenty of exceptions, but still...).

[–]ErX29 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed in all but this.

So what I'd kinda disagree with is the notion that you need to interact with someone within their own "territory." Often with girls who are prudish/anti-social, it helps you to take over a certain role by being super social/anti-prude, and they'll follow your lead, since both of those actions tend to exemplify the leadership role, and their actions tend to exemplify the "follower" role.

You can be super exciting - social - a walking laughter. But I wouldn't go pinch a sociopath's cheeks. Instead I'd much rather lean back, establish some connection, and only then go in. I'd like to hear your opinion on this, because when the girls start looking around the room I just lose it. I shut up completely for 2-3 seconds and look her straight in the eye, then when I regain the attention I keep talking and when she starts again I just say "Am I boring?" and leave right afterwards. I'd love to get some strategy on this. I imagine that looking around the room too wouldn't work hahahah.

[–]thejokermask 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]nhigtmaer 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA[S] 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]skreendreamz1 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link