Firstly, I would like to say that this is an ideology that was developed after reading multiple books over the topics of masculinity, philosophy, and by coaching a few young men.

We all know what a nice guy is. He is they guy does everything for the girl he is attracted to and is heartbroken when she doesn't show mutual interest in him. The problem is with in the ideology that these "nice guys" have deeply ingrained in themselves. They believe that they deserve something in return, usually sex or relationships, in return of their actions. This ideology is unhealthy for both the holder and the people in contact with them. After being rejected a man usually creates a narrative where she is the one that is in the wrong. They might even become hateful towards women and join on of the more radical groups that believes that women should only be used for sex.

What is the solution for being a Nice Guy? A lot of answers exist, but mine is found in the work of Kant. I use this philosopher's structure but do not suggest we should live in a world of pure Kantian Ethics.

Kant has a lot of amazing suggestions on how one should live, but for the purpose of this post I will only focus on two: humanity as ends and autonomy. Autonomy argues that we should do the good thing for its own sake, regardless of the consequences. For nice guys, this means only do the good things because they are good, not so she will sleep with you. The more abstract idea is found in Kant's view of human dignity. Kant suggest that people should never be used as means, but rather be ends with in themselves. Translated, this means that we shouldn't view women as sex objects. They are way more than a place to put our dicks. Every person is entitled to be treated with dignity and respect, until proven other wise.

So, how does this help you get the girl? Once you start being honest and deliberate with your intentions, you will never be in the friendzone again. This shift in ideology will also change the view of sex. No longer is sex currency or prize to win, it is intimacy that both parties enjoy. A one-night-stand is not "empty sex" if both individuals desired mutual intimacy.

TL;DR Be a good man, not a nice guy.