The attack against "Nice Guys"

Not_Like_The_Movie · 2011-10-24T22:54:56+00:00

It's not about nice guys, it's about "nice guys"

You know, the kind that are being nice in a manipulative way. They expect something in return for what they're doing, but end up burying themselves deep in the friend zone and can't understand why their brand of nice doesn't peel the panties.

There isn't anything wrong with being nice. It's possible and perfectly acceptable to be genuinely nice. It's when you turn yourself into a manipulative bitch with a nice guy guise that it's a problem.

It's more or less a war on feeling like you're owed sex just because you held a girl's purse and bought her a drink. The nice guys are the ones putting on an act. Most of what I've read on here professes that you should be upfront about your intentions. Nice guys aren't. (Which is why they get fz'd constantly)

puaCurveBall · 2011-10-24T22:14:46+00:00

Some of these Nice Guys are just young and/or naive and aren't putting on an act to bed the chick.

Whether it is conscious or not is besides the point in my opinion. They are speaking and acting in ways that they don't want to, but believe will "get the girl" or act that way "because it is how you are suppose to act".

I think sometimes a wake up call is in order, that can shock these guys out from thinking they are doing the girls a favor by presenting the least-offensive, most bland version of themselves possible.

frogma · 2011-10-25T02:43:02+00:00

Regardless of what these guys have all said (though I agree with everything), I don't think you misunderstood anything. Your main point is not to shit on anyone just because they express an opinion that's been proven unhelpful. And I can agree with that. Like PUACurveBall mentioned though, when I see a guy like that- especially if he's really firm in his beliefs, but not getting any sort of success- then it's just natural for me to "shock" him out of that belief system. Nothing else will really have the same effect, to the point (sometimes) where it's really not even up for debate- like, it's been decided that his viewpoint is a bit off, no question, but if he's gonna continue to hold those views (even if he backs off somewhat), then I gotta give him a verbal bitchslap to wake him up.

I think the main issue here is that a good person will often also be a "nice guy." There are some good people who wouldn't be described as "nice guys," but they're not the majority. The majority of guys only have a minimal amount of confidence (if any) when dealing with girls, and that's probably the main factor that fucks them up. But they also happen to fit that "nice guy" persona, where they think that being really friendly and shit is what gets the girl. It's not. It's called "building comfort," and it's only a small part of the whole equation. "Nice guys" build too much comfort and don't focus on attraction. They also don't escalate. If they were able to fix those 2 aspects, they'd do a lot better. And if they fixed their mindset (which is probably even more important), they'd naturally stop being that guy. They wouldn't be worse people- the only thing that would change is their thoughts about how to actually get girls. Being nice is a tiny little part of it, and technically not even necessary in some cases. But building attraction is always necessary (unless you automatically have it by being dead sexy or whatever).

heckz · 2011-10-24T23:56:32+00:00

i think your idea of nice guy is different than what others refer to. thats why we have terminology like AFC to try and reduce miscommunication.

LetsAmalgamateAbove · 2011-10-25T02:40:37+00:00

I think these things people are saying about nice guys are being taken personally by people when they shouldn't.

I'm a nice guy and completely agree with what people are saying. I know they dont really mean 'its a date rape drug' blah blah, but its just an analogy to what they are trying to say about them.

I was actually doing all these things that have been explained and I didn't even recognise it until I read the posts. I completely agree with them, but I don't take the comments literrally and personally. It's just a way of explaining a certain lack in confidence and independence one gets towards women.

Hope this clears some shit up.

Horatio__Caine · 2011-10-25T02:04:05+00:00

"Nice guys" don't necessarily pretend to be nice - they may be genuinely nice people.

What's wrong with a "nice guy" is that he has the expectation that a girl will date him simply because he's "nice". He thus befriends women and sets about proving how nice he is and gets frustrated/angry/confused when they don't want to date him.

revtrot · 2011-10-25T22:05:39+00:00

maybe deep down inside the PUA community really wants to revert to its youth of being Nice Guys. life was probably easier then.

kind of how smart or rich people look down at the dumb and poor. dumb and poor people are dumb and poor but they dont know what they are missing. they dont know what struggles the rich and smart do to get rich and smart.

PUAs might just hate the nice guy because life was so simple being oblivious to how dumb women are.

2011-10-24T22:20:04+00:00

The only problem with being "nice" is when people be nice to try to win a girl over. That's it.

rustoof · 2011-10-25T17:03:42+00:00

In my opinion this topic is done to death. So strike one.

Strike 2 is that as PUAs it is easy to start hating the "unwashed masses" of nice guys. I don't approve of any sort of negative commentary on how someone else chooses to live their life that doesn't affect me.

Strike 3 is that I don't really think this adds alot besides "Dont be a nice guy" which I imagine everyone even close to this subreddit knows.

So dv

Title	The attack against "Nice Guys"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	October 24, 2011 10:09 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lnmhg/the_attack_against_nice_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-attack-against-nice-guys.1324170 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324170

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