The boyfriend/girlfriend talk?

StinkyWedge · 2021-03-01T15:18:04+00:00

If you’re worried about her seeing it as a fling, then simply tell her how you feel.

I know many people won’t agree with me, but I have always been somebody who speaks what’s on his mind. It doesn’t matter whether I’m upset, happy, annoyed, concerned or perhaps have a random thought - I would rather bring it up than let it boil in my brain.

For what it’s worth, who cares who should initiate the conversation?

Cornicemansolo · 2021-03-01T18:06:20+00:00

It doesn’t matter who. Sounds like she’s ready to talk about the next step and is waiting for you to make your move. A lot of women have been taught to not scare you off by rushing the R word because so many men have commitment issues. Go get your girlfriend dude!

RawseyDawsey · 2021-03-01T16:03:29+00:00

Just tell her you see potential with her.

MajesticLaw4939 · 2021-03-01T20:52:45+00:00

If you want a relationship with this girl, talk to her about it. I'm in a similar situation at the moment, in some ways you don't want to bring up a relationship, have her reject it, and then your casual fling is destroyed. But if you want to date her, you have to give it a shot dude. Don't wait for her, she's giving you plenty of signs that she's interested. If this girl doesn't want a relationship though, I would probably just walk. If you are looking for that, and this girl isn't interested, you're wasting time with her that you could be spending with someone else who actually wants to date you.

Good luck to you sir!

MistahUndaCova001 · 2021-03-02T08:20:32+00:00

Why potentially risk ruining what's working for you at the moment by bringing up that topic? People are way too invested in the relationship status/tag. Keep dating, hooking up, and having fun with her. Let her be the one to bring up the "what are we?" topic. Quit worrying.

caesarfecit · 2021-03-01T20:53:24+00:00

There's three big dangers when it comes to defining a relationship/proposing relationship upgrades.

The first and most obvious danger is jumping the gun. By the time you've been seeing and sleeping with each other for a month or more, that's long enough to decide whether or not there's bf/gf potential. Note that being exclusive isn't the same (at least in my books) as being in a serious relationship. That comes when the honeymoon period wears off.

The second is ignoring the other person's signs and stated intentions. This doesn't mean they should get to unilaterally decide what the relationship is, but if you fail to take into account their expressions of what they really want (as opposed to what they might say they want), then you're leading with your chin.

That's what guys get wrong trying to bust out of the friendzone - for that move to be successful, at a minimum she must be giving you clear and repeated signs of interest in something more.

And the third is sacrificing your wants to make the other person happy. This is textbook needy behavior and it doesn't end well. If you guys just don't want the same things, and splitting the difference isn't an option, then the relationship has no future. That's just the brutal truth.

And this is the mistake women make trying to upgrade a booty call into a relationship. Staying in an unbalanced relationship where one person is getting what they want and the other isn't quite - that won't make it change. Walking away often won't either, but it's better and more honest than staying. It's not the end of the world to take the cash and let the credit go, but that's just not a stable long-term arrangement.

I find the there's two keys to navigating this. The first is a saying called stay in the present and flirt with the future. This is how you both enjoy a situation and feel out its potential without committing yourself to a stated intention. The second is realizing that the it's less needy to take a stand when you feel the time is right than to avoid it for fear of how the other person might respond.

When in doubt in matters of emotional intimacy, go with the honest approach. Someone who can't handle or doesn't want your truth is someone who isn't worth your time in that regard.

_donkenstein_ · 2021-03-02T18:01:06+00:00

I wouldn't say a word. Why change a good thing? She'll see you as needy if you bring it up.

dilfdad1 · 2021-03-03T04:23:17+00:00

Red flag

Baby names and pet names right off the bat or either a sign that she's used to being with somebody or she's trying to butter you up.

is she drowns you in sex all the time right off the bat meeting her that could be a bad sign.

For some girls vagina is all they have.

Especially the ones that are instantly your best friends.

That means they are used to the company of men.

Listen for if she says things " like nobody ever wanted to be my boyfriend

If her friends are hoes what does that make her?

Papa_Musk · 2021-03-03T08:27:14+00:00

usually guys develop feelings first so wait a month after you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend then ask her

tetrachromancy · 2021-03-06T08:23:31+00:00

Always let the girl bring it up. That gives her a chance to invest.

Title	The boyfriend/girlfriend talk?
Author	ThePhaser2
Upvotes	11
Comments	14
Date	March 1, 2021 3:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lvbo1e/the_boyfriendgirlfriend_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-boyfriendgirlfriend-talk.1510541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1510541

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