The Obsession of Inner Game

pPUA · 2012-02-23T18:03:38+00:00

Inner game is the ONLY important thing... but instead of using the term 'inner game', think of it as 'being the great confident YOU that you want to be'.

If you're coming from a place of total confidence in yourself, and have a lot of fun, the outer game just happens.

With the right mindset, there is no such thing as rejection, because you're just out having fun.

Kino_PuA · 2012-02-23T08:38:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-02-23T14:44:31+00:00

Personally, I think inner game is overrated which is why I stopped with all the RSD material. Inner game is only necessary if you have a sticking point which is preventing you from outer game. For example, if you have some limiting beliefs which are preventing you from kclosing, then refer to inner game. If you're taking action and doing everything, I don't think you need to worry about inner game.

Also I think doing a lot of outer game will automatically correct inner game. The more positive reference experiences you have by taking action, the more confident you'll be, the better results.

yenners · 2012-02-23T18:22:58+00:00

Isn't inner game about accepting who you are though? Atleast that's how I see it.

Leajjes · 2012-02-23T19:44:05+00:00

Inner game is so important. If you don't love yourself how can you love others? There's always the Las Vegas route if you're just looking to just get laid.

With that said, I'm not saying outer game is bs or crap. It's not; but if you're a total mess how can you improve in other parts in your life?

ge99 · 2012-02-23T12:22:23+00:00

Honestly though, after a bit, there is a point where you realize you don't need to "fix" yourself, you are perfectly fine, it is just you lack the courage of jumping in because you think you are personally not fit to jump in.

I'm reading this as "after a bit, your inner game has improved".

This idea is false. You do not need to read 1000 articles on "inner game", you just need to go in it knowing you are a fantastic man/woman and that you are worth the same amount of time as others are worth of yours.

This is hard for a lot of people.

SatanicBoner · 2012-02-23T19:10:34+00:00

you just need to go in it knowing you are a fantastic man/woman and that you are worth the same amount of time as others are worth of yours.

From my understanding, isn't this what inner-game is all about?

2012-02-23T21:01:06+00:00

Inner game is about confidence, i'm not entirely sure why you are trying to distinguish the two. Inner game is your personal self worth. The only way to improve your self worth, is to actively change things in your life.

"By spending so much time focusing on your problems, flaws, and anxieties, you are actually amplifying the threat they pose to you. It practically guarantees that you'll never be able to comfortably talk to women."

This makes no sense to me, or at least i see it as fluff because it's a complete contradiction. The only way you can learn to approach women, is by recognizing you have some serious approach anxiety and coping with it-- by doing it anyway. That is one of the main pillars of good inner game; being comfortable in your own skin!

Inner game is about confidence. Someone with Good confidence, has good inner game.

Richandler · 2012-02-23T22:09:32+00:00

One problem with inner game approach is that it lacks approach. Want to increase your inner game? Go have a conversation with a stranger. You can build up all the inner game in the world but it's not going to fix any approach or interaction problems. Approaching will fix these problems. Too much inner game is the equivalent of taking an emotional bath.

I imagine a lot of people come to game because they are so in their head in the first place. All the inner game thing does is mental masturbation when the cure for you problems are to not to "feel good" about yourself, but to turn off the chatter box in your head. This is better handled by going out and doing things.

2012-02-23T23:13:02+00:00

I disagree with your main point...

Honestly though, after a bit, there is a point where you realize you don't need to "fix" yourself, you are perfectly fine, it is just you lack the courage of jumping in because you think you are personally not fit to jump in.

If everyone in this world were already perfect, then there would be no need for the self-help section at Barnes and Noble. Everyone has issues that are not a symptom of inability to act. Anger issues. Relationship issues. Confidence issues. Beliefs that are not conducive to their actual morals and thought systems. Problem solving abilities. Reactions to certain events. Inability to maintain their ideal body type.

I could go on for a long time detailing why no one is perfect and why inner game absolutely trumps working on everything else. Do I think you need to read a million books? Fuck no. I've only ever read two books to completely flip my inner monologue around and everything after that was simply to delve into areas I found interesting.

This isn't about "fixing" yourself. Inner game is ALL about knowing yourself and accepting who you are. Not just acceptance.. but betterment. Now think about this... how many beliefs have you held for years that once you sat and thought about it you realized wasn't even YOUR belief? Perhaps they're in relation to sexual acts, moral standing on hot issues, or even just what side you sleep on the bed. How many beliefs are/were "yours" because someone told you at one point they were "correct?"

The quickest way to actually "fix" your inner self is to sit, meditate, reflect, and take a good hard look at yourself. Keep a journal, write down your musings, be 100% honest about yourself TO yourself. You don't need a fucking book for that shit. If anything, a book (read: google) is needed to learn the techniques to make the process more efficient.

Remember, "By spending so much time focusing on your problems, flaws, and anxieties, you are actually amplifying the threat they pose to you. It practically guarantees that you'll never be able to comfortably talk to women." (DiCarlo)

This = bullshit. If you're focusing on the problems AS problems, then yes, you'll compound the issue. However, if you fucking acknowledge they are there then go about replacing thought patterns with ones you believe to be better... problem solved.

Oh and if you really want to learn to build your self confidence from the inside out, don't even bother with trying to do so from a seduction standpoint. Trying to mold your inner self to what someone (or you) thinks will get you laid is simply trying to change who you are in its simplest form. Before you even try to tweak shit that is inherent in yourself for attraction purposes, you must first define just who the fuck you are. You're not going to get that from some e-book or "guru." The only person who can guide you on an internal self-improvement journey is yourself. You can find resources and techniques to try out and add to your toolbag but the work and methods must be yours and yours alone.

The ironic thing is people obsess (I definitely did too) over the idea of 'fixing yourself' but the massive downside to this is you end up thinking you are less than other people. Even though they most probably have the same problems but just don't think as much of it.

This is a perfect example of framing things wrong. When you realize what issues you have in yourself, you'll begin to see these same things in others. Knowing that other people are just as fucked up as you are should, if anything, let you put yourself on equal ground with complete strangers. Why? You are aware of your positives and negatives and are actively monitoring yourself and working to find better solutions to all situations.

So why work on your inner game before anything else? Inner peace. Homeostasis. Balance in all things. It's liberating to be so sure of yourself that anything anyone could say about you you've already found out for yourself and dealt with it. You learn how to always put yourself in the best light. How? Knowing yourself in and out brings a confidence all by itself that can't be taught. Sure, sarging and all that other shit PUAs advocate will help you build confidence in talking to women/men, but what else would it do? Think of it this way... ever known that AMAZING athlete who can throw a pinpoint pass, dunk on the town hero, hit clutch shots for wins all the time... but can't fucking put two sentences together in front of a woman? Same exact thing. Confidence in one area does not translate to another by default. Simply being able to bring someone home a couple times will get you a little far. However, as soon as the walls come down, the games get put away, and it's time to simply exist... all the confidence you don't have shows through.

How to avoid that? Solve the root of all your problems first (no, it's not money).

As I've said before: Knowing yourself is to have knowledge of the world.

Title	The Obsession of Inner Game
Author	Karismatic
Upvotes	20
Comments	19
Date	February 23, 2012 7:31 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q28lc/the_obsession_of_inner_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-obsession-of-inner-game.1328803 https://theredarchive.com/post/1328803

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