What am I doing wrong?

ZigsZag · 2016-08-31T04:52:55+00:00

er, it's tricky without context, but it depends on what hanging out means. It's also tough being female on here, it's pretty red-pill no matter how people argue it.

Try to make plans to actually see them, like in a context where you both know its romantic. It's great to go to the mall or the beach or something with your friends, but if you want things to grow, be more forward.

Ask them for the terrifying "date". If they say no or divert you off, then they might have thought it was a one night stand.

Jacob_961 · 2016-08-31T07:53:31+00:00

Men have trouble getting laid
Women have trouble keeping a guy after getting laid

First of all, so awesome of you posting in this subreddit. It's always nice to have women here.

Now, it's really tricky this one. From what I read from your comments the guy is just validating his ego and had no plans to stick with you to start with. It can change definitely over time but you are a fling for him up until this point which is not a bad thing.

The same concept that is taught to guys applies to girls. "People value what they work for.".

The "you're delicious" comment did not kill it. The guy just doesn't want to keep validating you either because he doesn't know how to or doesn't want to which is OK in either case.

Don't respond to the text until he does and he will. Guys need validation more than women. Women get validation the time, guys work for validation. Deprive him of validation and you will earn yourself a loyal puppy. He will start thinking, "was the sex bad?", "why does this girl not like me all of a sudden?", "Am I not attractive?". He will start becoming needy and work for validation like a good little puppy dog.

If you want the guy to stick. Make him invest in you time and money. Make him chase you. People value what they work for and familiarity builds comfort and liking.

The wise choice would be to cut this guy and go for a guy who is more serious with you but there is no harm in working on this guy. His level of commitment has nothing to do with what you did or what you said. It is a reflection of him, not you.

JRAlpha · 2016-08-31T06:53:33+00:00

If I had to make a guess I'd say you probably lack substance and you're also targeting the wrong crowd. Guys in bars are looking to get a lay and when they get that you can't really fault them for parting ways. Maybe try to define your intentions before you sleep with them?

I don't know, this subreddit and whole seduction community is pretty male centric. I feel like you should be taking advice from other girls not from your target audience.

But instead of being unhelpful, I'll leave you with female game that worked on me really well.

I met this chick at a friend's birthday picnic. I could tell almost instantly that she was into me as she had this hungry look when I was speaking. I was not very keen on her as she was bigger than girls I normally go for. I did not run any game on her and she didn't seem to know what to do.

Next day she hit me up in Facebook. I was very disinterested and first few messages I took couple of days to reply. But she was politely persistent and very flirty. She had a really good feel for when things are fun and flirty but was also very intelligent (going to med school) and could hold down a conversation intelligently even when she clearly was not well versed on the topic. I first replied out of politeness and have her very little but she didn't give up.

Eventually I agreed to a bet which I lost and as her reward I took her to a party. We hung out, I could tell she was keen but I made no moves. We continued chatting, she asked me to come out one evening. She then suggested we go to her place. At the time I could see all the elements of the game but I honestly didn't mind. She was fun and positive and I was flattered by her interest. At her place I decided to throw her a bone and took charge. We had sex. I honestly didn't find her attractive bit her enthusiasm and positivity turned me on. She gave great head and I honestly had most fun I've had with casual sex. I told her that I wasn't interested in a relationship but that I'm down to do it again. We ended up being FwB for few months and I consider that chapter one of the best experiences of my life.

What does that mean? I don't know. All I know that I met a girl that I wasn't into and she managed to completely change my mind and we had sex and I'm happy we did. That's game/seduction, right?

That reminds me. I should hit her up.

leprogrammist · 2016-08-31T13:47:24+00:00

Without knowing you it could be A) you are not good at sex. B) you are not attractive to them. C) you are boring.

Usually if you have a great night with somebody and great sex then you want to repeat it.

Maybe you should adjust your perception a bit - if you think that you have a good time and the other person is not - you are not reading the signals correctly.

Don't change anything, keep trying until you find a decent partner. Some people may argue that you move too quickly. But this is wrong. It is always better to move fast than too slow. Life is short and if you don't match you waste your time and the other person's time. Don't play these mind games.

Clyde_Frag · 2016-08-31T14:29:28+00:00

This happens basically all the time in dating, to both men and women. Some women seem to respond by putting up barriers to sex, which effectively drives more men away.

So what do you do? I'm not saying you have to be a girl that bangs loads of guys, but I find that the girls I'm most attracted to have healthy views on sex. They have confidence in themselves that guys they sleep with are going to sleep around. And if not, then fuck them because it's not hard to find someone else.

MindsEvolve · 2016-08-31T17:42:05+00:00

Try to talk to people who were in a similar situation and got out of it.

Here's one article I keep handy for these conversations: https://voat.co/v/whatever/comments/1079526

Best of luck,

Evan Magor - Honest Dating Coach - Anyone who wants an awesome dating life can schedule a FREE 30-minute advice session through skype with me here: https://calendly.com/evanmagor/

enkae7317 · 2016-08-31T06:39:55+00:00

You're probably moving things forward TOO quick. If you're bringing a guy home the first night and fucking then, of course they're going to want it to just be a quick fling and they won't stick around. Coming from a guy who wishes all girls are like that to him, I know from experience.

And in the end it just depends on the guy. If you show TOO much interest they'll prob think you just wanna bang and then quit or be FWB. From your post I feel your letting guys get too easy of an access into your pants and they don't see you as a high value woman thus you aren't "girlfriend" material. I'm assuming you're here because you want a stable relationship.

The game is there for a reason. Everyone has to play the game whether you like it or not. Guys HAVE to chase women and the girls MUST play hard to get (to an extent).

But fuck it, what do I know about girls attracting guys. If a girl so much as smiles at me I'm instantly floored.

I-liketoast · 2016-08-31T04:57:48+00:00

That sounds incredibly frustrating! The way you describe it sounds like they have lost interest. Do you usually initiate things? Have you spoken to anyone you've previously been with as to why they have stopped talking to you? That may sound like an awkward thing to do, but I say if it comes from an honest place within yourself to try to understand and grow then it's fine.

Title	What am I doing wrong?
Author	PrimalScreams
Upvotes	1
Comments	19
Date	August 31, 2016 4:38 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/50fgdp/what_am_i_doing_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-am-i-doing-wrong.1411722 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411722

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