What could I be doing better appearance-wise? [20M]

Crazy_Potatos · 2015-06-26T12:51:34+00:00

nah dude you look fine.

Who the fuck suggested cosmetic surgery??

cmiovino · 2015-06-26T13:25:02+00:00

Nah, bro, you DO NOT need cosmetic surgery or anything drastic.

Here are my appearance tips specifically for you:

Facial hair - at least some stub. Not all guys look good with beards, but beards are sexy to women. 95% of guys can pull off stub. At 20, you should be shaving. Clean shaven, baby faces generally work ok with suits, but everything else, not really. In general, you just look young - I have the exact same issue when I used to cleanly shave every week and let it grow in. I now use a trimmer on the #1 setting to give an even stubble all around.

You look overly happy. And no, I don't mean put a frown on your face! But instead of running around with this wide eye open smile on your face, smirks, and broderline that stoic James Bond kinda joking around and fun is solid. Not really appearance direct, but it is visual.

Polo shirt. Ok, it looks like that was taken at school, so a polo might be your dress code. If you want to improve your appearance, work on your style. Doesn't have to be over the top. For example, I wear a nice watch on one hand and this surfer style wristband on the other. Jeans usually, wallet chain. Darker colors... rarely polos. Just my style, but accessories are your friend. Sometimes I even rock a handkerchief in my back pocket. I could see you rocking jeans and blazer if you're ever going out... I think that would really fit your face/body.

I can't really tell a whole lot else from the pic, but those are all my suggestions. Realize that 70% of your game comes from your behavior, actions, all that... style, appearance, all does have a solid 30% to do with it, but most of that is just good hygiene and looking clean.

Whoever suggested cosmetic surgery is an idiot!

captain_DA · 2015-06-26T13:28:31+00:00

You're a handsome ass motherfucker, dude. Personally, this is going ot sound weird but your eyes tell me you are not confident at all. Smile - yes. Eyes, though those are telling. I don't have any suggestions for appearance other then to say: you are 20 years old. Fuck 20 year olds and their stupid ass opinions. Fuck high schoolers and their dumbass beliefs. You're better then that, dude you're on seddit, a place where people come to learn how to be their best selves. That's better then 99% of people out there. As Jim Rohn says, "walk away from the 99%"

BuyerOfCoins · 2015-06-26T21:58:04+00:00

Hey man. You look fine and like a fun guy! Since most has been said already, ill just mention a few points:
Dont go to 'rate me' stuff. Those things are shit.
Tinder is a really bad app imo. Dont use it but try working on your confidence and start approaching.
Read up on this seduction reddit. Read the top posts first is my advice. Mate believe me. I was like you. I had 1% confidence and I thought I was ugly. Just being who I really am and reading on here makes me feel that I am attractive. It is weird. 5 years ago I saw a weird ugly guy. Now I see an attractive, still weird :p but fun n fit guy. You might see yourself like I did 5 years ago right now. But I see you as a normal good looking guy!
No matter what others say man you know yourself best!
Hope this helped you even in the slightest :)

redcupwhitecup · 2015-06-27T04:12:42+00:00

You are a good looking guy. I am very surprised to hear that you are considering cosmetic surgery because you definitely do not need it. If you haven't already started, I would recommend going to the gym. It will improve your physique and confidence and it can potentially be a fun, attractive, lifetime hobby.

DontGiveUpDontGiveIn · 2015-06-26T14:46:44+00:00

Man all you need is confidence youre a good looking guy. I used to have a really low self esteem and I used to believe the negative things people told me and I was lonely for 4 years of my life because I let the things bullies have said to me become my reality. I suggest you learn how to meditate and start working out they can have great benefits on the brain and can make you think more positively about yourself. Another thing that really changed my life with women was quiting masturbation and porn and many other people have noticed their lives changing after quiting. If you are more interested You should read this article http://www.rsdnation.com/node/465917 Or watch this video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU.

ThatBlakeKidd · 2015-06-26T15:45:20+00:00

You don't need to worry about anything, you're a good looking dude. If you want to work on your appearance the easiest way to do that is change the way you dress, find your own style.(I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the clothes you had on). Personally when I turned 18 I radically changed the way I dressed. I started wearing polo button downs more often and chino shorts/khakis. I found a that I liked and embraced it. Also recently after a terrible break up with my girlfriend I decided I wanted another change and got a short haircut to clean myself up a bit and it was a great decision, I've been getting tons of compliments and it helped my self confidence. All in all, if you feel like you need to change your appearance let me tell you that you don't. But if you do change your style and get a haircut it can honestly make you feel like a "new you" which can help self confidence sometimes, at least it did for me.

Jordan-Wolf · 2015-06-26T17:05:46+00:00

80% of girls attractions is towards a guys confidence, vibe, social status, presence and groundness. 20% is physical appearance, and you look good brother. But you need to realise that even if you are really really good looking, but you have 0 confidence, no vibe, you're shaky, you cant even look at a girl in the eyes, you'll never be able to atract girls fully. You might have girls open up to you and say hi, because you're good looking. But once you start talking they will immediately loose attraction

EHethe · 2015-06-26T18:28:43+00:00

I saw you on a previous post about a similar topic about your appearance. Seriously you are a nice looking guy, there is nothing about your appearance that will be repulsive to woman, and I am worried that you have such a low opinion of yourself. To be honest, as a woman, your low self esteem would be the biggest turn off. My advice to you would be to just start backing yourself, stop worrying about techniques you can use to charm women and improve yourself superficially and just relax and be friendly when chatting to women. As long as you have showered this will work eventually.

littlebigkitty · 2015-06-26T20:56:22+00:00

No confidence, I can tell by your face/smile. Girls will automatically pick you out as the nice guy who doesn't have the nuts to get what you want. I would stop jerking off completely, start trying to be forward with women, and stop hanging out with whoever makes you comfortable with your current (not getting lucky with women) situation. I noticed once I became my own one man army I could get whatever girls I wanted.

logoutandgoaway · 2015-06-26T18:46:57+00:00

Judging a guy's attractiveness isn't as simple as judging a girl's; a lot of the impression you give will be based on your demeanor, posture and dress sense.

And if your confidence is this low you might just be giving off a bad 'vibe', in that respect. I'm guessing you hunch over a bit, maybe look a bit more glum or expressionless, and that's probably costing you a lot.

I had to work through a lot of social anxiety, and one of the relevant messages that stuck with me is "You get out what you put in. If you expect to be liked, you will probably be liked. If you expect rejection, you'll probably be rejected. This isn't Eastern mysticism; it's based on your actions.

People who have had positive experiences expect to be liked. As such, they're more open with others, more likely to make the first move, and in turn they're seen as a friendly person.

People who've had more negative experiences expect to be disliked. As such, they're reluctant with new people, more likely to be closed off, and in return seen as cold, weird, or unfriendly."

You need to start changing your thoughts and your actions.

There's a lot that could be said about this, and some already has done, but the one big thing I would add is changing your thoughts.

If every time something negative happens you think to yourself "Oh, everyone just thinks I'm ugly. I hate my appearance", you reinforce all those feelings to yourself, and make them more likely to happen again.

If you start replacing these thoughts with rational, neutral thoughts, like "Okay, that didn't go well, but so what? It's not such a big deal. In however many years I'll have forgotten all about this. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion. It's possible that if I think differently I'll feel differently. It's likely that it seems much more significant to me than it does to anyone else". Basically anything that's true and rational (I say 'neutral statements', as these are generally more easily believed by you. If you try and go straight to positive statements, you may find them unconvincing, and thus disheartening).

Anyway, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy really helped me out a lot. And I just started with listening to some tapes I found online, and doing the readings. I'd suggest looking into it.

But anyway, chin up man, and good luck.

JamesL1224 · 2015-06-26T17:48:44+00:00

You look fine man you do NOT need cosmetic surgery. I genuinely think if you got yourself a better haircut and started dressing well you'll feel a lot more confident about your appearance which will have a knock on effect with how you do with women. Not claiming to be an expert but I fixed this and stopped giving a shit about what people thought and I've had a lot more success recently just from fixing these simple things! Something that has helped me and it may seem rather obvious to the more experienced people, but I've started just being myself a lot more around girls and not caring whether or not they like me. I'm sure you're a cool guy, you just need to get some confidence and the easiest and quickest way to sort this is to get a better haircut and sort your fashion game out then start working on your chat etc. Fashion beans is a good website for fashion tips although some of their stuff is too 'high fashion' for my taste, but a lot of their tips and shit are really good!

blacklonerthrowaway · 2015-06-26T17:28:29+00:00

See here's the thing - lurking this sub I've seen numerous dudes talk about how girls have complimented them on their appearance. I have never ONCE had a woman call me "cute" or "hot" or "attractive".

Title	What could I be doing better appearance-wise? [20M]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	53
Date	June 26, 2015 12:27 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3b6ptm/what_could_i_be_doing_better_appearancewise_20m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-could-i-be-doing-better-appearance-wise-20m.1390147 https://theredarchive.com/post/1390147

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