I’m 19M. What is wrong with me. I know absolutely none of you guys know who I am personally but I’ll try to best describe it as best I can. I’ll even send pictures of myself to your pm for answers, because I can’t find the answer. I been depressed and filled with anxiety for a long time. A failure for a long time, but with a dream. Ever since middle school, I’ll admit I was a shy kid who was a b, let people say whatever to me, was afraid of talking to people, bad communication skills couldn’t talk to girls, annoying, was made fun of, few friends. once high school started, I started to become a little less shy and more confident, dressed better and acted better, yet still the same. 11th grade came and I was more confidence in myself, more friends, knew how to talk better with girls, dressed way better, looked better, acted better better self esteem and just more enjoyable to be around. I’ve always had “friends” , but they all ended up turning on me. The only friend I have still from my middle and high school days are my best friend. All the girls I liked rejected me, my ex in hs did me wrong, shi my ex 4 months ago was talking to her ex while we were together! And then got with her friend she told me not to worry about and not hates me! It’s funny how people consider me a good looking dude and handsome and cute but I have WAY more rejections then wins. I know that’s how the game works, but when people say your a solid 7/8, there has to be something wrong. Im still a virgin when it comes to actual sex, I only had oral sex with 2 different girls in my whole entire life when all my friends prob have 10+. I try to look at my personality and I am a pretty nice funny dude with an outgoing as well as quiet personality depending with who I am, and I have ambitions, as my dream is to make it as a youtuber, and I do put in the work. I currently have 15k on TikTok and 1,200 subs on yt. It ain’t much compared to what I need and want but I appreciate just a lot.

I come here because I’m so tired of it. I tried changing everything that I thought was wrong with me. My looks. My attire. My personality. How I walk. How I talk. How I act around people. My confidence. My game with girls. Me standing up for myself. Me respecting myself more. I changed ALL of it, but I guess not nearly as much as I needed too, or maybe that’s not the solution. It feels like nobody ever appreciated me because they all ended up doing some bs. It seems like my life an equation, like every 2/13 people see the potential in me, while the other 11 people want nothing to do with me or don’t give the same energy back to me. Maybe that’s the problem? Maybe I’m too much of a supporter, too much of an energy giver because I rock with anyone who rocks with me, but I guess I become annoying and they don’t understand my energy ? I can’t keep saying that. I can’t keep saying I’m meeting the wrong people, I can’t keep saying I’m just different, I can’t keep saying “ITS NOT MY TIME YET, ALL OF THIS IS FOR A REASON” ... no.

I feel so alone. I see all these people and even my friends get all the love, even they can be rude people or people who don’t care yet everyone likes them, all the girls go to them and give them attention, and stuff just plays out better for them. Feels like my life is cursed. My life seems so fake. Everyone either turned their back on me or never appreciate or don’t really appreciate me like I do to them. I always have to ask for people to hang out and that’s just one small example. I do have friends, but Ik all of them are gonna turn on me, like the past ones did. I lost 4 of my best friends last year. I failed so many times. Ima failure. I can name all the failures I have and you guys would say ima loser 100%. Maybe that’s why, subconsciously. Maybe subconsciously I think of myself as a loser and people see that? But how ? When even people on the INTERNET who can’t even see or feel my energy only seeing pics and vids of me not wanna mess with me, when I’m such this “good looking, cool dude” when even the PEOPLE who say that to me don’t rock with me as much as the hype they give me. I told myself I’m done tryna find out what’s wrong with me , and the only solution is money and fame when I make it .

I’m crying out for help. To the point where this week I even asked people and my own friends what’s wrong with me. I want to ask my ex what’s wrong with me and I want her to roast me. I want the people who hate me and the ppl who did me wrong to tell me. I had lots of ppl in school who disliked me for No. Reason. All I do is support people, be chill, be a cool dude who just chases his dream while working a job and tryna figure out his living situation with getting a new car, while just being ME. I’m being me. Is me just a weirdo, is me just in actuality a disgusting person to like and annoying person to be around with? Am I just not a person to be liked as much as others even tho I tried fixing everything and have attributes of people who are very liked?? maybe I have to change who I am. I asked God for answers and I try to look into my soul and ask what’s wrong with me, I guess I just want everyone to love me, because my whole life I’ve never been appreciated. Please someone help me. And if it helps, I’ll send pictures and even videos of myself, and my voice to you guys for you guys to help me. I’m so tired of myself and I try to be positive and manifest but sometimes I can’t take myself anymore. I know we shouldn’t care what ppl think about u, but damn man. There’s sum wrong with me. I just want this to change, I just want to make it and be successful and happy and make my family proud and I do try and I do grind but man I gotta say I do hate myself man. Maybe it’s just meant to be like this