What should I do with my hands?

on_the_dl · 2010-08-17T14:14:56+00:00

crossed arms is standoffish, on your hips gives you bad posture, pockets is awkward, too.

Let 'em dangle at your sides. It feels most unnatural but looks most natural. Go figure.

When sitting on a couch, spread 'em wide on the back of the sofa to take up space like you own the place.

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-08-17T13:57:43+00:00

Let your arms hang down your sides naturally. Stop fidgeting.

joforedditin · 2010-08-17T15:36:02+00:00

Hook your thumbs in your pockets, letting your fingers point at your crotch. When you're talking and want to gesture, do so, then right back to the hooks. I usually only hook one hand when actively talking to someone. But if I'm standing in dance class listening to the instructor or in line somewhere, this is my default hand position. It's a very strong, very sexual position.

Sometimes if I want to tone it down, like at my boss' desk, I'll stick my fingers in my pockets with my thumbs hooked outside. Whatever you do, never stick your whole hand in your pants pocket. I don't care if it's freezing. Buy some gloves. Other than the "fig leaf" (where you clasp your hands together in front of your crotch) hands-fully-in-pockets is about the weakest hand position there is. Don't fig leaf, either, obviously :-)

HITEKK · 2010-08-17T13:50:04+00:00

Well, it's kinda natural, but if you have no idea, watch movies with confident actors in it (Georges Clooney, Brad Pitt...) or even stand up artists. Your hands should be moving a little bit as you talk, I don't really know how to explain it. If you're near a bar or table, lean on it just a bit, to seem "unaffected". Hands in the pockets, or arms-crossed is a no-no to me.

mynewname · 2010-08-17T16:17:07+00:00

Tyler Durden on gestures and trying too hard

As for arms: in your pockets, thumbs out. According to this guy it's a high value dominant body gesture.

philosarapter · 2010-08-17T16:57:41+00:00

If your talking, use your hands to illustrate your point. I make some ridiculous hand gestures to make the story funniest or more interactive. Otherwise let the stay at your side casually.

Focus on your attention on your posture and shoulders and your arms will naturally hang.

zoinks · 2010-08-17T17:59:26+00:00

power triangle/tent. Touch the tips of your left fingers to the tips of your right fingers, and then "throw" that structure with your wrists at whatever party you are trying to show power to

Listro · 2010-08-17T23:20:08+00:00

No anchoring, no in pockets. At most, put the thumb in the pockets and nothing else. David DeAngelo had a video on body language that was pretty good about the hands thing. Since it's easier to see visuals that to type visuals I'd suggest checking that out if you can get it ahem on sale...

Regardless, try to keep them at the sides with the middle finger and thumb touching (as if you were gently holding a potato chip). Only move hands to communicate. Such as when you're poking a girl to tease her, or expressively shrugging to show that endearing side of yours, etc.

SpaceToaster · 2010-08-18T02:11:19+00:00

Power stance:

Stand up strait, solders back, feet a shoulder width apart
Let your arms hang confidently at your sides, your palms facing more toward the back, with your thumb making gentle contact with the tips of your middle and index fingers. The gesture will help put you at ease, much like holding an object will do.
Concentrate on making slow and purposeful movements. Keep your hands below the line across your chest.
If you must hold a drink, hang it low and effortlessly. Clutching a drink against your chest, as you noted, shows insecurity.

Drugba · 2010-09-04T05:30:04+00:00

The best trick I've ever gotten from this was from a public speaking teacher a few years ago. He was talking about what to do with your hands during a presentation to look natural, but I've found this works in almost every situation.

basically the thing to do is let your arms hang at your side, but yea i know that feels awkward, so to get over this touch your thumbtipss to the tips of your middle and ring fingers (kinda like your making the "quiet coyote" hand gesture except with its ears down. If you dont know what that is google it). It tricks your body into feeling like its holding something and feels a million times more natural

Title	What should I do with my hands?
Author	hands010101
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	August 17, 2010 1:34 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d24o2/what_should_i_do_with_my_hands/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-should-i-do-with-my-hands.1311364 https://theredarchive.com/post/1311364

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