What to do if you enthusiastically explain what you love doing and she says 'Do not take it as personal/offense but I don't care'

Jermaul_m_w · 2019-04-27T17:22:47+00:00

You move on that’s rude my man. For her to just blankly day “I don’t care about your passion” means she’s looking for a guy with a passion she’s attracted to instead of being attracted to a man for having a passion.

MarianneThornberry · 2019-04-27T18:14:33+00:00

Pretty much what u/Jermaul_m_w said.

It always amazes me how so many guys are willing to put up with stuff like this just to maybe get laid...? Have some self-respect dude.

Because look at it this way.

Even if you had some kind of God tier game and managed to make her interested in you. Do you seriously want to invest time and energy into someone who is this much of a brazen asshole that they can so casually make dismissive and disrespectful remarks to your face like that?

Cmon dude. Theres no "next move". Just ignore her and move on and talk to someone who's actually worth your passionate personality.

santacruzx · 2019-04-27T18:06:16+00:00

Well are u trying to seduce her or? Based off their reactions, just don’t share how passionate u are about it next time. Different rules for everyone but a golden rule is reading your audience. She’s not interested in that. Talk about her lol

trickster_royal · 2019-04-27T18:11:03+00:00

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A_solo_tripper · 2019-04-27T18:23:29+00:00

When you describe what you 'love' doing, make sure to make it RELATE to them somehow. EG; I am creating an app that will let you do [name something cool as it would relate to her].

'I am an electronic engineer' vs 'I am working on a feature that will allow you to save over 1000000 pictures on your cell phone'.

yaksha_uk · 2019-04-28T04:35:34+00:00

"then I explain a little"

Don't go into autistic detail about it. State your passion, what interests you about it. Connect to universal experiences. Why does it appeal to you? Why might it appeal to someone else? Give them something they can connect to. Don't get caught up in the technical side. Because honestly, most people don't care. About this passion, about other passions. Not in detail. Not unless it was a rare case of something they previously wanted to investigate. But they do care about the emotional content, the why of it, the how it makes you feel. People talk the language of feelings.

Find out what she likes too. Connect to that. Say she likes horse-riding, cool, yeah, ok, what does she like about it? Fine, but if she's starting to tell you about all the intricacies of different breeds or equipment etc, at some point your eyes are going to glaze over. And if it's the five-hundredth girl you've spoken to trying to tell you about something like this in great depth, you're probably gonna turn to her pretty early on and say something like, "do not take this as an offense or anything else, but I don't care".

Does that ring true? If not, disregard.

Dangerfox_1 · 2019-04-27T18:40:12+00:00

It depends how much in depth you went with your passion. I could understand if you went on for half an hour, but if it was just a couple minutes then yeah that's not cool on her part and you have to ask yourself do you want to hang with someone like that.

SocialReject101 · 2019-04-27T18:53:31+00:00

To answer your exact question: throw a silly joke back at her e.g. "None taken. My mom also says that to me. She wanted me to become a ballerina." and ignore her comment and just make an assumption about her (her style, her profession or whatever if that hasn't been touched yet) and steer away from her comment.

You shouldn't throw a joke like this if you were timid from the beginning. Your frame has to be constant. Maybe you should be more playful before you get the number. See below.

I see two major problems here.

Number 1

Your are giving away information very quickly therefore validating yourself to her

Girls love guys that have passion. Girls don't necessarily love hearing you talking about your passion in depth in the first minutes of conversation where mutual attraction hasn't been established at all. Note:

her giving number to you doesn't necessarily mean she is attracted.

What should you do?

Next time when she asks you "What about you?" answer her: "I am a male prostitute for hire'' Then look at her with a slight grin and wait a moment - if she laughs/stares and says nothing or on the other hand comments on it - just ignore it and continue with "Well actually I am a software developer at college, trying to pay my college tuition and save up some money for a sandwich" and leave it at that. You already made an original statement and she will most likely be interested in continuing conversation by :

Asking you specifically what you do in software development to which you reply very shortly and redirect a question to her so she validates herself to you.
Asking something entirely different (or shove a shit-test at you) . It's okay. You need to remain mysterious at the beginning.

You are the buyer and she is the product. Not the other way around. Keep questions pretty open so her response wouldn't be one worded (Use How, Why, etc)

Number Two

You need to be more playful

This is in general and not at that particular moment of your conversation.

IT guys are mostly considered as nerds (which in my opinion is an old stereotype). Many modern devs are pretty social and interesting personas with vast amount of interests. If you don't happen to be one of them or you have problem making yourself be fun, you will have to develop that. One way is to become a good and memorable storyteller (for your friends, a bunch of newly met people and girls too).

Here is a link with a little artice about how to be more interesting in telling stories. https://theartofcharm.com/art-of-personal-development/how-to-tell-a-great-story/

coherent_shitposter · 2019-04-28T04:23:19+00:00

Depending on how you talked about it, it could have put her off. Just because you find computer software interesting doesn't mean others will. If this happens consistently then there's a problem with how you're talking about it. Do you have any examples of a word by word conversation you've had that ended like this?

IllustriousPepper8 · 2019-04-28T14:29:51+00:00

What she really means is that you've shared more than she's interested in.

Did you go on about it for a while?

Possible to express same passion with brevity?

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