I'm a student and I don't have any friends. It's hard for me to make friends. I lack the envy and the interest. I've always struggled and I don't know if that will ever change. I've always been bullied a bit each year during studies, maybe because people thought I was tough because I'm rather tall? I don't know. The people I talk to at the university, I don't talk to them after classes. I don't like when people put me down and when they do, I stop talking to them. I won't tell them what bothers me because I'm afraid they'll tell others and I'll have a bad reputation and I don't know how to handle reputation and stuff. Better no reputation than a bad one.

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But I want a girlfriend, and other than social value I don't see anything else I could get to show value to women. Is there a book about having friends, why and how to get to want to have friends? I've read Dale Carneige's How to win friends and I feel it's more of a career self-help book rather than pure social, like going out and stuff. I don't know.

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Other than that what could I do until I get a job and become independent?