What’s Going Wrong on First Dates?

srwat · 2024-08-18T18:40:40+00:00

If you go into the date passive, you'll fall into the girl's frame. At that point, you're slowly losing all your chances of anything happening.

You want to make sure you pull her into your frame and keep the interactions feeling fun and spontaneous. You want to take chances for natural kino when you can get them. You want to avoid her locking you down into an interview mode (where do you work/how many brothers and sisters/Etc.) and you want to take the lead while letting her express herself emotionally the further you go.

The moment you try to sit back too relaxed or too anxious and lose frame, she will take the frame from you.

You want to maintain your frame while being relaxed enough to still lead.

DaygameCode · 2024-08-18T20:34:16+00:00

A kiss did not happen in the first date. She did not even notice any obvious attempt to kiss her. You never made a move and you only gave her a hug or shook her hands and that’s it.
You don’t know the difference between complimenting and flirting. Complimenting is congratulating her for having good attributes or qualities. Flirting is about expressing how muh you desire her. If you say to a girl "you smile is pretty" or "i like your eyes" you are congratulating her or showing appreciation. If you say, "I'm losing my mind when you smile at me like that, or "you are making my heart rate increase when you look at me like that" you are expressing desire. Wording as you may have noticed matters. Lack of flirting, and only giving compliments leads to friendship or lack of interest .
Kino is too safe or not even there. Touching her elbow briefly, or putting her arm in het back to guide her doesn't cunt as kino. Kino had to be intimate, kinda romantic and kinda sexual without coming on too strong, and deliberate, not subtle, coming on too weak and ambiguous in it's meaning.

zebekias · 2024-08-18T20:18:09+00:00

You might be playing too safe on first dates.

Upon meeting, a hug and quick peck on the lips gets the sexual tension going, then periodically amplify it.

For example, innuendos how she has seduced you with her stunning beauty and she has no idea of the bad things you’d do to her if it wasn’t for all the people around.

At the beginning I screwed up plenty of dates as well, but with practice and experience you will figure out how to use her beauty and sexiness to build lots of sexual tension.

Working_Potential_26 · 2024-08-19T00:28:04+00:00

Don’t go on dates just to make yourself look like a man worthy for the girl …

Go to the date feeling good about yourself already .. have a nice haircut .. have your body looking right … make sure you don’t jack off a week before your date …

Show up to the date to see if youuuuy like the girl … learn her .. ask her questions .. learn what she likes and what she don’t … be attentive .. compliment them if they looking right for you …

Kinemi · 2024-08-20T15:02:40+00:00

These are the rules I try to go buy on my first dates.

Look good: Dress to impress. It's better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed. Aim for a look that's almost too good, showing that you put in the effort.
Keep It Light and Fun: Stick to humor and playful topics. Avoid serious discussions like politics, religion, or sex. Your goal is to make her laugh and keep things enjoyable.
Confidence Is Key: Stay confident and relaxed throughout the date. Think of it as interviewing her for the job.
Let Her Do Most of the Talking: Aim for her to talk 80% of the time. This helps you gauge her interest and keeps the conversation flowing.
Kissing: No first-date kiss unless she doesn't show any interest or buying signals. In that case, go for the kiss to test her true interest level. If she turns her head, she's not interested. If you know for sure she's into you, save the kiss for the second date.
Look for Interest Signs: Pay attention to signals like her touching you, giving compliments, showing genuine curiosity, mentioning future plans together, or kissing you (obviously).
Touch Test: If she doesn't touch you at least once on the first date, she has to do it by the second date. If not, she's out.
Leave first if you can: I've let dates go on for 2 or 3 hours before and probably bored the girl to death. Keep it around 1 hour and tell her "I have to go, thanks for the fun time".

Hope it helps

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-08-18T19:30:21+00:00

I look back at the first date for both successes and failures.

Every time I got a second date or closed or started a relationship...even the girls will tell you I did nothing correctly.

Every time I got ghosted or rejected after the first date, it was a date where i did everything right.

Let stuff go wrong. If you are too perfect or too structured on your date the girl will perceive "try hard" energy and think that u lack options and that she is the best you can do and she will feel like u are beneath her.

Ok_Click4158 · 2024-08-19T07:39:55+00:00

Can you share how you brought them to a date past the talking phase? Talking about dating app

Title	What’s Going Wrong on First Dates?
Author	traveller769
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	August 18, 2024 6:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1evg66y/whats_going_wrong_on_first_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-going-wrong-on-first-dates.1527650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527650

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