People often tell you to focus on yourself, get out there, be social, get involved in sports and causes etc and you'll naturally meet people and fall into dating/relationships.

It seems like for a lot of folks that's the case, but I can't say the same about myself.

Everything to do with flirting/courtship/dating/escalation seems to take conscious effort, it's not something I feel naturally inclined to, and when I'm not putting in that conscious effort I'll go months/years without really meeting anyone.

I can befriend people well enough, but there seems to be a critical ingredient that I'm missing which takes things to the next level.

I know some straight up crude, uncharismatic, average looking guys who seem to have no problem getting decent women romantically or sexually interested in them and I can't pinpoint what they're doing differently.

Does it ever feel more natural?