While some men try to buy a woman’s affection via material possession, other men choose the route of becoming self-sacrificing. These men think that they can earn a woman’s affection by responding to her every beck and call. They think that by repeatedly showing their willingness to sacrifice themselves for a woman, she will eventually come to appreciate them. However, this is a one-sided commitment of which the woman has not been informed and has no reason to uphold. While some woman may take advantage of these men, most never ask for what these men do for them. These women especially resent when the men perform unrequested favors and then in return expect something for them. By mistakenly believing that they can earn a woman’s affection, these men often become upset when their unsolicited sacrifices are never reciprocated. Women don’t want the shirt off a man’s back, but for a real man to be under that shirt.

At university, I had a friend named Ryan. Ryan had never had a girlfriend and was desperate for a woman’s attention. Ryan would offer to help any girl who was having trouble with her homework assignments. He would often sacrifice completing his own work in order to help another female student finish her assignments on time. While it is one thing to help out a fellow student, it is another to continuously sacrifice your own work in the process. Some of these girls ended up failing their final exams, having not learned the material because Ryan had done the majority of their assignments for them.

It was clear to me that it was Ryan’s hope that he might earn the affection of one of these girls through the act of continuously sacrificing himself for her. Ryan tried to buy affection by trading the only thing of value which he believed that he had to offer: himself. It did not surprise me that none of these women ever pursued a relationship with Ryan. By continually sacrificing your personal integrity for a woman, you are abdicating the very attributes which women desire in a man. By completely giving yourself away, you leave nothing left to be loved.

If you have also bought into the standard attraction paradigm, it will be necessary to reformat your brain and install an updated belief system. Given that neither wealth, fame nor model looks are necessary to attract women — what factors do count? Women want genuine men with confidence, passion and purpose; traits that can’t be purchased but only cultivated through experience.

The above passage is an excerpt from the book: Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight

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