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Jintoad1970
[–]Liberaler 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Would you bother pursuing or is this low interest?"
It might be an excuse, or it might be true. There is no risk in trying it again, at a later time. Just don't wait for her and focus on other things/people.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
It is low interest and it’s a mistake to tell a girl “let me know when you are free” Everytime you do that it’s most likely they will never tell you when she is free, no matter if her interest is low or high. Make definite plans instead or invite her only when you can not when she tells you she is free.
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I agree on the invite her only when you can part.
I ask them to let me know when their free to put the ball in their court but it's usually after they've said they can't do a certain date so I leave it up to them.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Putting the ball in her court assumes they are interested or in the mood to go out with you. And for them to be in the mood, it’s you who has to make them feel in the mood. So that’s why you should not put the ball on her court
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh I did set a specific date but she said it will "possibly" be a few weeks until she's free so I told her to let me know when's she's free instead of me trying to guess a random date that's good.
I put the ball into their court after my first attempt of initiating a meetup isn't met with a direct yes or them suggesting an alternative day etc.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah that’s not a good way to act unfortunately. She will not let you know when she is free and most likely she will just go out with another guy who makes her feel in the mood to go out while you still wait for her to tell you when she is free
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not waiting for her to let me know when she's free more so I've stopped pursuing
[–]nmsftw 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Might as well ask. You never know maybe right now the interest is low but if you hangout together it might increase. Don't go in expecting to increase her interest but sometimes people aren't overly interested and then something about the other person just clicks.
[–]Calamity__Bane 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's low interest imo, but there's no harm in trying later provided you aren't too invested in anything happening.
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Definitely low interest. When she's attracted to you, you don't have to ask yourself these questions. [EDIT]: Only move for you is to not be the first to initiate contact at this point because: 1) it may pique her interest & points to her having some attraction & 2) if she doesn't contact you then you know unequivocally that she isn't interested. Remember, this isn't about YOUR interest level, it's about HERS.
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you elaborate on your last point please.
About it's about her interest so I fully get what your saying.
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Certainly. Your ego will be your biggest enemy when learning to seduce women. Your ego will tell you things like: try harder, maybe her cat died, maybe she feels this or that. It's your ego trying to soothe you and comfort you from an uncomfortable truth: she's not interested. Instead of seeing her actions as a sign to run away in the opposite direction your ego will spur you on in the wrong direction and you will chase her. Don't. If you do that then you're only concerned about how you feel about her and not taking into account her attraction level for you. If you persist you will lose: time, money, sanity. Nothing you do will raise her attraction towards you. This is a hard pill to swallow, but it will save you time, money, sanity. For further info check out a dude called Dr. Love (stupid name, I know) who wrote articles for Askmen website pre-2010. His advice is beyond harsh, but men need to hear it because it is tough love and more importantly 100% truth. Most men (me included) read his articles and flipped him the middle finger. What we weren't prepared for is how accurate his words were and we'd see it, understand it more and more. It's not what he said, but that we weren't ready to accept it as truth. That's how hard truth hits. It takes your ego a long time to put down its shield so the truth can enter. When you let a woman know you're interested you then sit back and gauge her actions NOT her words! You watch her "song & dance" and it will tell you everything you need to know about how to proceed. (Note: if your ego starts making excuses for her actions or words you aren't paying attention to HER interest level). Interested and attracted women will move Heaven & Earth to be with you. Full stop. Uninterested women will give you excuses and vagueness because 1) they are afraid of being murdered 2) they don't want to hurt your feelings 3) a woman will never tell you "no" unless she's threatened physically/emotionally. Because of these 3 things you will hear every wild excuse under the sun about why she can't be with you, but you'll never hear a "no". It's now your job to see her actions for what they truly are and not what your ego "hopes" she means. You got a vague excuse. What are her actions telling you? Try harder? Absolutely not. She's saying "Move on. Because she's not interested". But if you persist she will take your money, food, gifts, sanity and leave you with blue balls. If you ignore her it is possible she will contact you. This is where YOU make her jump through your hoops to see if she's attracted or stringing you along. (Bake me some cookies, take ME out to dinner, etc). When you ask a woman out and she can't go out on a date watch for the counter offer. If she truly can't go out but is interested she will suggest an alternative date/time because she doesn't want to lose you. No counter offer? Then she doesn't care if she loses you. I always tell guys that if you want to chase her then I offer an alternative: come to my house, give me $100 and I will kick you in the balls. That is what you can expect chasing women who aren't interested in you. Remember this golden rule when it comes to women: Always pay attention to her actions not her words.
[–]TheSunshineMan 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Low interest.. hit her up if you're just looking to have sex etc.
Definitely don't look at her as a future LTR or anything..
Thanks.
How would you usually initiate a date and at which point would you stop pursuing?
If it's over dm I usually get to the point of trying to set a date quick rather then conversing with them too long. I'd rather save that for real life. What do you think?
[–]TheSunshineMan 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pitch a date idea, ask when she's free, try to set up the date..
When would I stop pursuing?
All depends on the context, every situation is different.
Yes 100%.
Texting/DM is only for setting up dates, not for getting to know someone.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't dedicate too much time to it. But give it a shot
[–]BugHistorical8691 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
low interest
go down to your local pub and find yourself some 50+ ratchet thats up for some action instead and where the buying temperature is high
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[–]Liberaler 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nmsftw 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Calamity__Bane 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSunshineMan 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jintoad1970[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheSunshineMan 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BugHistorical8691 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link