Hi guys.

My wife and I are Europeans who have lived in NYC for the past decade. We have a 3yo son who has dual citizenship (US and European passports) but has lived his whole life in Manhattan. We have the exact same profession and we make almost exactly the same money (around 200K). We rent and we have our savings and 401k accounts, nothing else.

My wife has been really really horrible towards me for a couple of years now and things have gotten really worse in the last few months after she got into a huge fight with my parents. She is threatening to take my son and go back to Europe, she is threatening to file for TRO and to accuse me of DV so I will never be able to see my son again. All she ever does these days is threaten to "destroy me". She also threatens that she will file for divorce back home in our country that also notoriously favors mothers when it comes to custody.

I have consulted with an attorney in NYC who told me that I have a good case for 50/50, however I am very scared by what I read about divorce in the state of NY. I read that in about 80% of cases women get custody and father has a couple of hours one evening/wk and every other weekend and then has to pay lots of $$ in CS even if he gets 50%. And then I read that in order to get 50/50, you need to have an amicable relationship, which we definitely don't.

Does anyone have experience in NYC divorce? If it goes to court, should I be prepared to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Does it matters who files first? Can she even file for divorce in our home country given that we are NYC residents? I am not sure

And most importantly, do you guys feel I have good chances for 50/50 since we have the exact same income and we are both equally involved in our son's life?

Thank you all so much.