What to do when you attract emotionally unavailable men but you are emotionally available and ready

Diamondsareagirlsbff · 2020-01-11T02:52:52+00:00

You’re doing the right thing and it’s really hard but it’s necessary. Well done you, and keep going.

I really hope make lurkers are reading this and that at least one in ten of them have the intellectual honesty and empathy to see the harm in stringing women along for sex. If you manipulate someone, it’s your fault for the pain you cause when they fall into your trap.

We are caring, kind, beautiful people and they are blessed to have us. If they don’t see the value in us, I don’t see the point of them.

To lurkers: I also believe we women are blessed to have good men. I love and respect good high calibre men. But you are apparently so few. Please be more.

Evil_Rao · 2020-01-11T03:16:18+00:00

Lol dude. I was in a relationship with a guy for three years and the whole time he knew he didn't want to marry me, he just strung me along because I was nice and he didn't want to end things. Men are all kinds of fucked up

LoveToTease64 · 2020-01-11T03:51:53+00:00

Stay strong and cut them off as soon as you realize they’re wasting your time. Some of them honestly have no idea they’re lv, while others string you along purposefully because they want something to you.

Keep living your best life, and let these encounters roll off your back. HVW attract LVM be nature of being HV!

Keep putting yourself out there as long as it feels right. Pull back when you need a break, and then pick it up when it feels right again. You will eventually meet him!

2020-01-11T05:36:14+00:00

You gotta stop being so emotionally available. Don't tell them everything about yourself, hold some shit back even if it's not important. The fact that you are holding something from them will help you keep emotional distance.

Also don't date them one at a time. Be talking/dating other men and let him know that you are doing that. It will keep him from getting complacent and kick him into competition mode.

Don't be available to him all the time even if you have nothing better to do. Also be vague about it. "I'ms busy" is a full sentence. If he also knows that you are seeing other guys then he can create the perfect image of you with another man in his head to put himself into a frenzy without you barely lifting a finger.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-11T03:53:28+00:00

I will literally try OLD twice a year. I meet a couple people, get interested, get let down, and then stay completely single for six months. I'm trying a niche site now and it is terrible. One straight up idiot called me a hypocrite for having 28-48 on my profile and complaining that guys my age won't date women their own age. He thought that my offering to date younger OR older was hypocrisy. THE FUCK? I told him he was clearly retarded and "bless your heart" and he said well ACTUALLY I work in an office. Okay Einstein. BLOCKED.

Point is I take looooooong breaks when these out and out IDIOT LVM wear me out emotionally.

nutshit · 2020-01-11T13:30:07+00:00

I’ve never had this issue. Every man I’ve been with wanted a relationship with me, no matter how much of a player he is. Wanna know why? Lol I’m actually not sure the reason but it’s probably either these two, 1. I’m either lucky or 2. I’m emotionally unavailable first. Might need to make a post for this but I never really want a relationship and that makes them go crazy. If you act unavailable, then the more they want you. A girl who has feelings for them immediately scare them, they wanna work for you.

take1990 · 2020-01-11T08:21:18+00:00

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, that’s just the state of OLD. HVMs on OLD are few and far between. So unfortunately you have to have your guard up and have good weeding out techniques so you don’t end up wasting your time / energy / emotions on LVMs.

goatyard · 2020-01-12T00:22:03+00:00

This sounds incredibly emotionally draining, i'm sorry you've experienced this :( I've never had this problem, and its not because I'm super beautiful or rich or popular or anything. I believe it is because I am very careful and observant of men before i ever go on a date with them, and only go on dates with people i perceive to be kind, emotionally intelligent and compatible with me. There are so many subtle indicators of the kind of person someone is, from the way they treat servers in person to the way they present themselves and interact with friends on social media.

I am also very careful to date people that I am highly compatible with, in terms of humor, interests, etc. Sometimes as women we become so focused on creating a good impression that we don't pay attention to our own feelings on the person we're dating, and i don't think men generally do that. Beyond that, if this is a common experience for you you may want to consider therapy. This is a stretch as I only have this post to go off of, but you may be pursuing emotionally unavailable men because subconsciously you believe that getting them to commit will validate your self worth.

Title	What to do when you attract emotionally unavailable men but you are emotionally available and ready
Author	prettyexcitingnews
Upvotes	50
Comments	16
Date	January 11, 2020 2:23 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/en1cur/what_to_do_when_you_attract_emotionally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-to-do-when-you-attract-emotionally.685073 https://theredarchive.com/post/685073

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