Hey queens, this is my first post here. I only found FDS less than two weeks ago, but it has impacted me greatly and I'm a huge fan of you all awesome ladies. Just wanted to share a couple of things how I have noticed that have changed since I have been trying to align my mindset according to FDS principles.

-I have noticed that I have been putting more effort into pampering myself and giving good things to myself more. Also cutting myself more slack. I guess I have started to feel a bit more empowered and having more of self-worth.

-I have started to change my style a little bit. I have always been a tomboyish kind of girl, and now I've started to add more femininity in the way I dress. I instantly feel more confident.

-It's incredible, but the mantra that keeps on being repeated in this forum in different forms really works! By mantra I mean the message "You are already worthy and do not have to prove this." It really surprises me but it has helped to decrease my social anxiety, and by that I don't mean just romantic circumstances, but the usual social anxiety around people. I just feel more relaxed. I now don't expect people to validate me as much as I did before, and it somehow makes all types of communication (also professional and with friends) easier and more pleasant.

-I feel now more determined to kick old unhealthy habits and work on self-improvement.

Now for the romantic part - there is a guy from my friends circles that I have been crushing over since summer. We are platonic friends with some sort of chemistry, but I have spent a lot of time trying to decode mixed signals from him. After finding FDS, although I still have romantic feelings, I have been successfully working on killing the unhealthy obsession part and am now able to accept what we *actually* are: platonic friends with some sort of chemistry. That has also helped me remember that there are lots of other men around and that they notice me too.

A couple of days ago we accidentally met at a bar and spent several hours talking one to one. This wasn't a date since we are friends, yet I also noticed several things that I instinctively do differently now:

-When the talk got more personal, I managed to shut myself up for several times when I wanted to go full oversharing mode which has usually been my go-to move in personal convos. Instead I found myself paying more attention to listening to him and focusing on any potential red-flags.

-I noticed and acted upon some small chances to give him "protector/provider" opportunities. Like really small, for instance, asked him to pour me some water when normally I would have done it myself.

-Stopped myself from instinctively giving him compliments. I'm a natural compliment giver, they come effortlessly for me, but now I reminded myself that there should be some balance between giving and receiving (I still gave some and received some, but I avoided the 5:1 ratio that had been the previous cases for me with this guy).

-Noticed I was evaluating him using the HVM checklist, for instance, gave him plus points when he touched upon his relationship past and didn't overshare or go into details without me asking something specific, and spoke highly of his ex.

-Did not try to decode any potential "hints" from him. Reminded myself that I am cool enough to expect a move from him, not make a move myself.

-The most impressive part - after this night I found myself thinking, "hm, he did well tonight". NOT, "did I do well tonight???" that would have been my pre-FDS thought.

So thanks a lot for this sub! I generally feel so much better in life after finding this special kind of sisterhood!

(Ironically, when we said goodbye, he admitted that he had a great night and his farewell words were "Never change!" I will damn right keep changing boy, climbing up that HVW ladder!)