How to be happy alone

wondertarget · 2020-08-08T06:25:52+00:00

Not sure if this will help, but as someone who has lived over overseas for four years (and spent the first year mostly alone), get multiple hobbies. It's obviously not in your best interest to pick up anything like hiking, skating, paint and sip or group activities, but maybe this would be a good time for you to learn how to enjoy your own company.

Take up knitting, or writing, or reading, or cooking. Or take up all four. The point is to keep your mind and body so busy that you don't even notice that you're not around people.

Alternatively, there are tons of online meetups and groups going on right now if you absolutely have to connect. Check out FB groups and Meetup.

I used to be very uncomfortable with being alone all the time, but even now with a boyfriend and friends, I'm starting to crave more alone time so I can focus on gaining skills and publishing my book series. People are great, but I've realized that too much socializing tends to distract me and takes time away from me actually getting life goal stuff done.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't look at alone-ness as a negative. Look at it as a positive, and as an opportunity to finally get that script written, or learn guitar, or take up running. You never know what you can accomplish when you focus your time/energy.

ldonnawho · 2020-08-08T06:21:40+00:00

A few years ago I was in a similar spot. I am guessing you're an extrovert and need human contact rather than male company really.

I'd suggest picking up some hobbies that are group activities after the pandemic. You have to learn to be happy to do things for yourself by yourself, it doesn't have to be 24/7 but understand that other people are temporary company.

So any sudden urges you end up having (i.e going out to dinner, vacation, movies) do them in the meantime. You can't sit by and wait for others to start living your life.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-08-08T16:48:05+00:00

I’m an animal person so I just always have a cat or two, a dog if my place can handle one. For me at least, the love, affection and interaction I get with them makes me feel a lot less lonely during the times where my few close friends aren’t always around. I don’t have a huge social circle because I’m super picky about who I interact with and most people just seem to fall by the wayside after they show their true selves but my cat is always down for cuddles and a belly rub.

I also have hobbies as well, and once Covid eases in my city (if? I’m not fortunate enough to live somewhere where a woman’s in charge and has handled it, please Jacinda Arden let me immigrate to your country!!!) I’m going back to school (already in classes but they’re online only as of now) and starting up my hobbies again.

I wish we could do FDS meetups without having to worry about random stalkers showing up to harass/harm us, yet another thing I have to adjust in my life for fear of male aggression and reprisal. I need some more strong feminist girlfriends in my life and it would be great to chat irl but I know it’ll never happen

MalloryDame · 2020-08-08T09:31:27+00:00

As an introvert, I still kind of relate to this. But the hobbies suggestion is perfect, I certainly do find myself with a lot of free time and a lot more energy now that I don't spend it all on my ex... and I plan to put them to good use! Trust me, you'll be fine on your own. You just need to find other means of fulfillment other than being with other people. When I start to feel lonely, I think about this thing I heard someone say once "In the end, we only have ourselves. We die alone. You may be surrounded by people but ultimately, they can't follow where you go. The only person you need is you, who lives 24/7 in your skin, who knows and loves you more than anyone ever can." It's a bit depressing but also surprisingly comforting to know, yeah, I don't need to stress so much about this because in the end, it doesn't really matter. I should focus on what I can control. People are nice but like another poster said, they'll always be temporary. You move away, or they move away, they pass away... You're always losing other people, so you can't expect to rely on them to feel whole and happy. Make sure you are first and foremost happy alone, and find occasional happiness with others. But don't be that person who can't be by themselves or they'll go crazy. That's not healthy!

elsalinneakarlberg · 2020-08-08T09:56:34+00:00

I can relate to this a lot. Life has become a lot about just making time pass.. like I’m waiting for someone to happen, but I’m not even sure what that would be.

If you want to chat anyone I’m here :)

eveninghope · 2020-08-08T17:17:51+00:00

Between living abroad and grad school, I spend A LOT of time alone. It was a hard adjustment bc I was a social person during my early/mid 20s. I'm happier now though bc I really love what I do for a living. It's also exhausting so after a day of work, I am perfectly fine just watching Hulu or reading. Maybe find a volunteer organization or figure out a job where you can contribute to a cause you care about.

ThrowRabigdumbdumb · 2020-08-08T13:25:18+00:00

Once the pandemic is over or better, I'd really look into a church. It doesn't have to be uber religious if that's not your thing. Churches are set up for social support. The one I go to had single ladies groups (only for ladies), volunteer outreach programs in other locations, and just a ton of stuff to do with other people. It is set up so that you can make friends.

Title	How to be happy alone
Author	OrchidLion
Upvotes	48
Comments	11
Date	August 8, 2020 3:43 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i5sd2y/how_to_be_happy_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-be-happy-alone.723854 https://theredarchive.com/post/723854

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