I met a guy through mutual friends and had just gotten out of something that I was getting over. I told him that I couldn’t date right now but told him I loved his company and wanted him around as a friend. He told me he didn’t want to just be friends and would come around in a few months and try again.

He did. I wasn’t still quite at the spot to really let him in, but he agreed to be just friends. Over time, things gradually progressed because he was flirty and playful and seemed to know what he wanted. Things felt light and easy and I let my guard down. He was consistently there. We started to grow closer. We had a date during the pandemic online, and three hours flew by.

And then things got very heated and suggestive after nearly half of a year of pursuit. To the point where we told he exactly what he wanted to do to me. I asked him for a follow up of when we could and he just immediately backed off.

He said he wasn’t in the headspace to date, and that he would hurt me emotionally. I had been very very clear throughout the entire process that was what I wanted and he always walked away and came back and said we could see if we were a good fit.

I even lowered my boundaries foolishly and offered to explore things without any expectations of where they would lead. But he just isn’t open to it and keeps saying that it isn’t a good idea because we want different things.

I’m just wondering why this guy would push for exactly half of a year and do a complete switch when I asked him to follow up with action?

I’m really struggling because I can’t just be friends. The friendship is now hollow and our interactions are colder, despite him saying he doesn’t want to fully disconnect.

It makes me sad that he pushed for more and ultimately I lost out the most because I no longer have a friend or someone that I’m seeing.