This is a complicated subject to explain, and I'm certainly no scholar. I'll see if I can make it coherent and legible enough. Here goes:

When boys and men don't feel at home in, or directly oppressed to, general social gatherings: school, workplace, local communities, mainstream society etc. they tend to dissociate, find an outsider group with mainly other men in it and were they make up their own value systems.

That historically rings true. Although lately, such groups have been destroyed by forceful social integration, but also because so many men are stuck behind screens now, can't break free from those easy dopamine rushes long enough to set up a proper group.

Leaving that aside...

Women are different. They don't form outsider groups. They can't imagine turning away from the larger collective like men do. The reason they argue so much about bad social norms is that they don't feel they can live anywhere else, except under an umbrella of shared norms. It's just that the bad norms have to be prosocially reformed so they feel more comfortable under it. Body positivity was an obvious example. If fat women would have behaved and reacted as men it had been like this "Listen girls, screw those skinny ass bitches eating rice crackers and purging. Screw their magazines, catwalks etc. We'll ignore and boycott all of that and everyone in it. We'll go and do our own thing instead"

That would have been the manly approach. Instead they've tried to change and diversify the beauty industry, increase representation and visibility in commercials, shallow media and in other generic and worthless cultural arenas.

My point is that this is a prison we should not want to be in. Right now the world is obsessed with integrating "everything woman", but that also means that women get tasked with relating to every other woman's experience, lifestyle choice etc. even if they absolutely don't agree. At the very least, they aren't allowed to vocally dismiss or "unrelate" another group of women. An ugly duckling is obligated to be at least a little sympathetic with the problems that a white swan is dealing with.

That's what oppresses women the most, not men, not patriarchy, but an entreched social order that demand them to minimize themselves, be less individual, and at least outwardly pretend to be these collectivist team players always.