The ‘Creep’:

The term ‘Creep’ is used every single day to describe people who have done something creepy. A ‘Creep’ is, according to a dictionary, a detestable person, but not according to society today. Today ‘Creep’ is an everyday word that is plastered all over men’s foreheads whenever they do something women don’t like, there is a thousand ways for me to be creepy as a male that I don’t even recognize until it’s too late, or until someone else decides I’m a ‘Creep’. Here is society’s definition of a ‘Creep’:

A man who shows more attention, platonic, romantic or sexual, to a person then they so desire at that time.

Well that’s a ‘Creep’ right there, but how does that translate to the abuse of the word ‘Creep’ in today’s world. Firstly let’s talk about children.

Children as a rule have no agency at all; they cannot desire someone in a romantic or sexual way properly due to their immaturity and inexperience with people and risk. Therefore any man who shows a child attention or a desire to be close to a child who isn't his own he could very well be a ‘Creep’. The only time he isn't a ‘Creep’ when showing attention to a child is when, based on the opinion of those around him, his interest in the child is a nurturing or father-to-child interest. Couple that with the social ideal that all men are motivated by their sexual desire and the nurturing, caring men who are paying attention to a child are suddenly assumed to be motivated by sexual desire towards the child. This is BULLSHIT, men aren't motivated solely by sexual desire, and someone who finds a mutual friendship with a child isn't a ‘Creep’, he is just a guy who shares common interests with the child. I've seen countless men shy away from children because society considers men who show attention to children as ‘Creep’s.

When it comes to women its better and worse in some ways. Women have agency, they have grown from a child into a responsible adult but the ‘Creep’ rule still stands ‘A man who shows more attention, platonic, romantic or sexual, to a person then they so desire at that time is a ‘Creep’.’ Now here is the meat of the issue, how the hell, in a society which tells men to pursue women, and women to pick the most successful man possible, do we deal with this? I have a little anecdote here for you all. I had a friend with benefits, a girl I was sleeping with every week or two with no romantic strings attached and it was awesome. I found myself loving this woman, not romantically but as a friend I couldn't have asked for better. Fast forward a few weeks and she disappeared off the face of the planet, well not really. I messaged her, not out of care for her just out of curiosity to be completely honest. I got back a message calling me a ‘Creep’, and we didn't talk for a year after this. Now why would a close emotional friend who I occasionally slept with suddenly call me a ‘Creep’, why did she sleep with a ‘Creep’ in the first place? Well I think I know, see i discovered she had gotten a boyfriend. My friends with benefits, while single, used my attention to boost her ego and fulfill the need she felt for affection. As soon as I wasn't needed to fill the void because of the new boyfriend I was suddenly a man who showed her some sort of sexual attention that wasn't wanted or needed, suddenly I was a ‘Creep’. The fact that I wasn't aware of the boyfriend, that the message I sent wasn't sexual at all and that I was a close personal friend of hers for years beforehand were not even considered. As soon as I was a man who considered her sexually and emotionally attractive that she didn't desire attention from, I was a ‘Creep’.

‘Creep’ is a term that gets abused all over this society; it gets pasted on a man’s forehead by women and scars them with a disfiguring social mark against their name to everyone who is around to hear them say it. Men, you are not a ‘Creep’ for showing a woman attention, you are not a ‘Creep’ for loving kids, or for showing interest in child things. You are a functioning human being. Any women who labels you a ‘Creep’ has problems, they don’t know how to deal with other peoples desires, they don’t respect men’s desires, they don’t realize that men have needs and have wants that don’t line up with their own. Any women who labels a man a ‘Creep’ without a dammed good reason cares only about her own desires, she believes only she can have flexible wants and differing needs and she can’t understand that you are just as human as they are, and that’s a little bit creepy in my honest opinion.

-J.C