Never taught how to be a wife

ivysaurah · 2023-06-17T23:23:54+00:00

Congratulations!

Talk everything through before hand. Talk about what your expectations for division of labor are for one another. Talk about what life will look like when/if you all have children. Talk about how you expect one another to conduct themselves in public (clubbing without the other party, remaining a united front even when you fight, etc).
Talk about finances. Being a SAHW or SAHM is financially quite vulnerable if that is your plan, and you need to have agreements in place. My husband and I have shared accounts and I control all budgeting/bill pay/etc. I am on his LLC as a partner and I report income for myself every year when we do taxes. Even when I worked and made less than him, we shared finances and I handled budgeting.
Treat being a wife like a career that you love. Making weekly schedules for myself helps me to stay on track. But also take care of yourself. Physically, mentally, and socially. Being a happy wife will make his life happier too. Don’t neglect yourself.
Learn one another’s love languages - it will help you to show and understand one another better.
I really do think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. If he likes his mothers cooking, maybe ask if she’ll teach you some of his favorite recipes. She’ll love you for it, it’s a way to bond with her which will help you in the long run, and he’ll love having his comfort foods in your home.
Fighting will happen. Learn healthy ways to deal with it now. Helpful advice that we utilize: it’s you and your partner against the problem, not you two against each other. And both parties should ask themselves what they did wrong, don’t try to just blame the other party stubbornly.
Puppy love comes and goes, but it can be maintained with effort! Don’t forget to keep dating and showing each other you love one another.

That’s all I can think of for now! I have been married with more traditional roles for 5 years now.

1987dd1987 · 2023-06-17T23:25:16+00:00

Read

Laura Doyle surrendered wife
John gray’s what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know
passionate marriage by David schnarch
nonviolent communication by Marshall b Rosenberg

Listen to Suzanne venker podcast (start from the beginning, there’s some real gems back there) Laura Doyle’s podcast the empowered wife podcast

Keep a daily journal where you record things you are grateful for about your spouse. It could be something he says or does or a sweet memory or a quality you admire or whatever. Even on bad days commit to finding something to write even if it is “put cup in dishwasher instead of the sink.” This trains your brain to see your husband in a positive way. When you are frustrated with your husband you can read these entries and remember that he is a good man

gtsio541 · 2023-06-17T22:56:53+00:00

Not married, not even close, but got few tips from my mother and aunt (the only two healthy married women with outstanding relationships):

-Have an agreement on chores and house upkeep and try to not hold scores over who is failing where, but do sit down regularly and have a deep conversation on chores/finances.

-There should be something you do that make his day starting in an amazing (coffee first thing in the morning, preparing his lunch or share a cuddle early). He will find a way to reciprocate.

-Found your space to grow, questions or unwind that is not shared with your spouse., like some time alone (20 minutes of reading or a yoga routine)

-Maintain some romance over the years.

Again, those are very general suggestions.

chrissycash · 2023-06-17T23:10:50+00:00

Congratulations on your engagement!

UniformFox_trotOscar · 2023-06-18T15:27:51+00:00

I would start by posing this question to your fiancé to see what HE would want in a wife. Then follow up with what was already suggested here.

penapple_2319 · 2023-06-19T19:47:48+00:00

Serious answer: just make Pinterest your best friend. It has various cleaning schedules and easy recipes for any newbie to make. Also provides baby and child tips and life hacks. I also have the same situation, never taught to be a housewife but hey it's fun to learn as you go!

Funny answer : https://youtube.com/shorts/VvhCiea4x84?feature=share3

2024-09-26T23:06:20+00:00

Sounds a little cheesy, but my dad gave me this one. He said when he and mom have arguments they go somewhere private, usually their room and sit with each other and make sure they hold hands the entire time. Sounds dumb, but I tried it with my wife and it completely changes an argument and the way you talk to each other.

Remote-Principle-805 · 2025-04-04T02:33:02+00:00

We like chicken wings and a little “sugar” everyday. But what we really like is to know when we have done something that makes you happy so we can do more of that. Or just tell us what you want for your anniversary lol.

tundra_theater_lady · 2025-04-10T16:57:29+00:00

Highly recommend:

A Personalist Manifesto by Emmanuel Mounier: https://archive.org/details/personalistmanif0000moun

Work by Ade Bethune: https://www.amazon.com/Work-Ade-Bethune/dp/0978319869

Why Work? By Dorothy Sayers: https://www1.villanova.edu/content/dam/villanova/mission/faith/Why%20Work%20by%20Dorothy%20Sayers.pdf

Are Women Human? by Dorothy Sayers https://www.amazon.com/Women-Penetrating-Sensible-Essays-Society/dp/0802829961

AutoModerator · 2023-06-18T00:23:49+00:00

Title: Never taught how to be a wife

Full text: Hi,

I (f/30) am newly engaged to the love of my life (m/28). He is wonderful. He takes care of me, protects me, supports me, and is more than I ever dreamed of. I want to be the best wife possible for him, not only because I want to give back to the person who gives so much to me, but because he deserves it.

That being said, I come from a long like of non domestic women. None were "wives" in the traditional sense. I'm posting here after being a long time lurker because I like the values and I want to be the type of wife described here.

Does anyone have any basic advice they think all women should know? Anything you were taught that has helped in your marriage? Anything I should read or watch? (I did see the book suggested at the FAQ at the tip of the sub and downloaded that, but I'm not married yet so some things dont apply.)

I know I will never stick to anything if I try to make a drastic lifestyle change, so I want to slowly start incorporating things into my days/mindset so they stick and I can commit to them.

He just proposed last week and we haven't even thought about wedding planning yet, so hopefully I can start our marriage as the best woman possible.

Edit: I made a new account to post this, as my fiance knows my regular one and I wanted to geep this private, so I can't respond to comments yet. But thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful responses. They're already so helpful!

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Title	Never taught how to be a wife
Author	newlyfemininelady
Upvotes	24
Comments	25
Date	June 17, 2023 10:09 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/14c3a13/never_taught_how_to_be_a_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/never-taught-how-to-be-a-wife.1222662 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222662

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