Is this normal?

MrsStrom · 2013-09-10T23:33:23+00:00

Its okay to have a polite conversation with other young men at college. They think you're pretty. You should let one buy you a coffee from the coffee cart. After all, college used to be for getting your "Mrs".

Bakerofpie · 2013-09-11T03:30:19+00:00

Even using common statistics thrown out by feminists groups that inherently try to make data match conclusions they have already drawn, less than 2% of men are rapists. I understand being uneasy, especially as women we are often taught to fear men and that men are out to get us from an early age. There is nothing wrong with going with your gut if you feel that something isn't right or a man is truly making you uncomfortable. But in my opinion you should make an effort to be more open-minded. As far as some women being more attractive, you don't know what "type" this particular person is into - you may be more attractive to him than a more traditional beauty on the other side of the room. If he's been standing there for 30 minutes before saying anything to you, my first assumption would be that he is shy and was trying to work up the courage. Approaching people isn't easy. That said, a lack of confidence like that seems like a pretty beta trait to me, but while that might not make someone a desirable mate it doesn't make them dangerous. If you aren't interested you aren't interested, and we can frequently determine that pretty quickly, but don't let suspicion get in the way of meeting a possible good mate.

LifterofThings · 2013-09-11T02:56:15+00:00

I'm sorry you had to deal with the asshole who went nuts on you for declining to have sex with him.

I've been sort of a tomboy my whole life, and as a result have met a lot of men in a variety of situations (teaching, volunteering, interest groups, work, etc) and the overwhelming majority of them are fantastic people-- they may be awkward in their approaches because they're afraid to be rejected. Just keep in mind that they're people above all else, with all of the quirks and foibles and insecurities that are inherent to the human condition.

Trust your gut if something feels really off, but otherwise smile, and try to be open to meeting your fellow human beings. This is one thing the feminist movement unequivocally got wrong-- a man is not a rapist, or dangerous by sheer virtue of having been born male.

umbilicaljane · 2013-09-11T03:14:39+00:00

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crankypants15 · 2013-09-11T13:03:12+00:00

You sound hypersensitive to certain stimuli for some reason. You sound like you have some anxieties about men or fear of getting raped. The level at which you have it is not normal and can greatly hinder your dating life if you don't deal with it soon. I don't mean ignore it, or hide it, I mean really deal with it. If you need therapy, get it. If you need medication, try it. But don't let this slide.

Guys approach you after standing around a while because they are working up the courage to talk to you. This is common. Guys might get 50-80 rejections before they ever get a date. That's a large weight for anyone to bear.

It's very unlikely you will get raped on broad daylight in public. For safety, stay in public places around other people or security cameras. Then set your worries aside. Admit your worries but don't let them dominate your life. Perhaps you could focus on how many times you weren't raped?

Best way to react to the random guy beside you in lecture sniffing you very subtly?? (I use a teeeny tiny bit of vanillla/floral perfume, but it's barely anything that anyone could smell. Only I can smell it.)

How do you really know he is sniffing you? People have allergies, I sometimes sniff repeatedly when it doesn't sound like my nose is stuffed up.

cthulhucumsicle · 2013-09-11T13:11:11+00:00

your fear of men is absolutely not normal. i dont mean that harshly or rudely. you need to get into some rough and tumble with boys and learn to understand what and who they are. they arent rapists or defective women. they want to love and protect you, and a man's love, trust me, is like no other. anything women claim to experience is a pale shadow of it. but if you are afraid to be vulnerable you will never experience it. do you have any idea how many times i was hurt by boys as a teen and 20s, how many times i hurt them? it sucks. you get dumped, things dont work out, you say mean things to each other. those are the things that are way more likely to happen to you than being made into a skin dress, stop watching movies, they arent rapists and serial killers. you have to go through the hands-on process of learning Men, theres no substitute. they arent aliens, they are what god/nature/the universe/evolution put on this earth to complement you. they do fart a lot though, watch out for that lol

cron_nin · 2013-09-11T04:28:45+00:00

Umbilicaljane, you are inspiring. When I got into cooking, my sister got me a book called "How to cook everything: the basics" by Mark Bittman. It was super helpful because it does what the title says. But what i found interesting that some of the recipies in the book appeared somewhat flawed, so it forced me to look up recipies online and see how other people are making the same thing. Which helps. Now, I feel like i have a really good idea intuition about cooking.

For example, I was looking at the recipies for some sort of cake in the book, and I noticed that there it didn't call for milk. I knew that if I didn't add milk, that cake would have been dry. Things like that.

Baking is easy, because you start to see a method to madness.

And spices are your friend. Stop relying on salt and build up a spice cabinet. It helps.

I hope that helps some!

vacuu · 2013-09-11T06:15:47+00:00

Sometimes it's nice to talk to and look at (and smell, haha) feminine, pleasant, women as an activity by itself. It's ok to let it happen a little bit. Realize that few women they encounter will even be friendly enough to even say 'hi' back to them.

cthulhucumsicle · 2013-09-11T16:18:29+00:00

Only commenting on your cooking - start using a LOT more butter. And buy good butter Kerrygold or better. For new cooks, IMHO, recipes are bad news. They make people think cooking is complicated.

You should buy a slab of wild-caught fish, a stick of butter, Brussels sprouts, and a little bacon. Cook everything on low heat in one pan - taking things in and out to avoid over cooking the fish - let the salt in the butter do most of the work. Butter and bacon are like catnip for most men. Good fish and Brussels sprouts are level 2 catnip to men that know how to eat real food.

Also - you are not going to get killed by a stranger. You will probably die an accidental injury (car accident). But it's much more likely that you will live long enough to die of cancer or heart disease. Morbid, but true. We humans tend to worry a lot about things that are the least likely to get us.

http://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2009/09_all_women.pdf

umbilicaljane · 2013-09-12T01:46:51+00:00

"Like: max 1 pushup and 2 sit ups."

This hit me in the feels. You seem like a real sweetheart. Keep pushin you'll get those numbers up.

When a guy approaches you he's probably interested. We don't approach women we aren't interested in.

If you like the guy and want to get to know him just be cordial and your sweet self. Just be, let the interaction go where it goes. Don't overthink stuff.

Offensive_Brute · 2013-09-10T23:40:08+00:00

I'm a guy who likes to cook, and I'll say that cooking, with no tyeacher takes a while to nail down, but even still, if you aren't careful things can go wrong. Cooking is something that requires close attention be paid. Exact amounts and times. A haphazard attitude will lead to bland or saltymeals and burnt or undercooked foods.

In my experience the best way to practice cooking is to cook for others. The desire to impress helps you focus, whereas if you are just cooking for yourself you may not really care. If a meal comes out bland and I'm the only one eating I dont care much, but to serve some one else a bland meal, well thats embarassing.

Title	Is this normal?
Author	umbilicaljane
Upvotes	8
Comments	42
Date	September 10, 2013 11:18 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1m4zfl/is_this_normal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-this-normal.83976 https://theredarchive.com/post/83976

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