Hello RPW community,

While I was processing my thoughts after my boyfriend [26M] broke up with me [22F], I found a lot of the posts from this community very helpful and I wanted to share my thoughts today in hope that they might be helpful to someone else going through something similar.

I respect his and my privacy so I won’t go through the details of our relationships here but just for context, our relationship was fairly short (9months) but intense. It was so precious. We loved each other very much and was a great team. There’s just something between us – so much chemistry and attraction. We both feel completely comfortable with each other and love seeing each other happy. I can’t even describe the adoration and admiration I feel when I look at him – and how blissfully happy I was to know that he was mine and no one else’s. We were excited about what the future holds, excited about spending time together and seeing each other grow. He was also the one who introduced me to RPW (himself being a member of TRP and living by its principles). He made me want to be a better woman – for him and for myself. I barely cooked before we were together, but I started making dinner for us regularly and he loves what I make. I dress in a more feminine way now and work out regularly. In our daily lives, he is my Captain and me his natural first mate.

But I wonder if TRP was a detriment to our relationship. I was his first relationship after being red-pilled and my guess is that he wanted to explore the ‘abundance mentality’ – I was an obstacle in this. He broke up with me because he was attracted to other women and he was afraid of hurting me. The break-up was not mutual. I wanted to work on our relationship but he didn’t. He says he’s not ready for a relationship. He says he’ll hurt me later down the line if/when he gets attracted to other women and that he loves me too much to hurt me anymore. It hurts to hear that he thinks that our relationship can never work. He has also since blocked me on Whatsapp and Facebook asking for some space so he could move on.

I was so hurt and heartbroken by all this. The first couple of weeks especially. I lost someone I was in love with, someone who said would be there for me always. I was also angry with myself; angry that I didn’t see this coming, angry that I let myself get so vulnerable, angry that I gave myself to him completely – giving him all the power to hurt me so much.

But now, the more I thought about his reasons for breaking up, the more I am able to handle it with grace and respect for myself. Today I am taking the decision to truly move on from my ex. Yes, I lost the love of my life but I didn’t lose someone who wanted me like I wanted him. Because no matter what, if he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him, he would still be here. I have family and friends who love me and who cared for me so much after he broke me in pieces and now, I have found peace. I have found closure. I smiled when I thought about moving on. I am sad that things did not work out, but I find comfort in the fact that I gave him and our relationship my everything. With that thought, I don’t have any burning desire to chase after him or to try to get back together. I don’t want to be with someone who didn’t love me as much as I do. The only possible regret could be on his side – as he chose to lose someone who gave him her all.

So I’m grateful to him for breaking up with me – for setting me free. I have stopped holding on to unreciprocated love, to a love that didn’t appreciate me or what I brought to the table. I have learnt to bring positives from this: I imagine what it will feel like when I find someone who actually cherishes and values me, someone who chooses me every day, someone who fights for me. This brings a smile to my face.

I also wish him all the best. He will always have a place in my heart, he was my first love, and I will always care for him. A friend of mine found him on Tinder a few days ago – I’m sad that he could do that so recently after our break-up (it’s been less than a month) but I truly wish he can find happiness in life, even if I can’t be the one to make him happy.

I wouldn't be within this state of being without the advice of RPW, so thank you to you all too.