Feeling inadequate

All_Lurk_No_Post365 · 2021-04-12T19:55:41+00:00

Listen to me, the type of guy who has the personality and drive to work in a field that makes enough money to provide for a family on one income does not mind or view you as less because you're not bringing in much income if any. I am confident he is much happier knowing his future child is at home safe being taken care of by his wife and not a day care worker. Me and guys like this don't look to our gf/wife for financial support (unless times are bad), we look for women who provide a nice home, support, loyalty, some domestic duties and most importantly a good mom to our kids. Just make sure to tell him how you appreciate him allowing you to stay home and not have to worry about money....trust me....trust me.... For men being respected/admired/appreciated for taking care of business like this feels better and more fulfilling than any pay check you could possibly have brought home.

Btw I'm a guy.

MirriMazDuur · 2021-04-13T05:33:51+00:00

I have been in a similar situation, so I know how you feel. It's hard for a hard-working person who's used to juggling 3 projects at once to take a step back, but remember ... you are pregnant! If pregnant women and new mothers can't take a break then ... who can?

It hasn't even been a hundred since women are supposed to "pull their weight" by earning money and now we have reached a horrible peak in which women over-work themselves into depression. The truth is that you need a woman to keep a child healthy, you need a person in the house to keep it clean and organised, you need somebody to make the food. The money lost can always be mitigated by just spending a little less. You can always pick your job back some years in the future, but you can never truly make up for lost time with your husband and memories of your child. You have been working since you were 16, it's alright to just take a break.

loranona · 2021-04-13T11:49:14+00:00

I've been in an interesting situation recently where my partner would prefer I didn't work (even though we don't have kids) because he recognises that he's been brought up with the expectation that he will be the provider. He's been pretty open about the fact that if I reduced my income or quit my job completely he would feel personally happier with that arrangement (though obviously recognises that I enjoy my job and that I want to stay there at least until we have kids).

Your partner might be the same, who knows. If you're happier doing just one job then everybody wins right? If you aren't struggling for money, then don't stress about it, it may actually be improving your relationship, since you have more time for both him and yourself. Most men probably care more about that than the money.

LemanTheWolfKing · 2021-04-13T22:50:14+00:00

You have to understand that as a woman you are meant to be provided for financially, this isn't coming from some sexist place but men especially RP aware men naturally have the immediate desire to provide for the women they love or are with period, no question or debate. what you need to remember here is to be healthy, prepare for your pregnancy and not stress about your financial situation. your job in this relationship is to care/cater to your man not provide for him, you have to make him feel loved, make sure affairs at home are dealt with while he is working, be emotionally intelligent to the situation and prepare both yourself and your man for the incoming responsibility of your child. your man is not out there working for because he has to, he is out there providing for you because he obviously cares about you and the child that is entering your lives. if you want my honest advice does not stress about money, I understand how you feel but you can worry about bring in money into this relationship after you have had your child

Jaywoody21 · 2021-04-13T02:59:56+00:00

Change how you're viewing your own inadequacy. Rather than feeling like you're not doing enough because you aren't making enough money, embrace your new lifestyle since it seems your husband has no issues with the current situation and be a homemaker. "Make it up" to him by keeping the home clean, having dinner on the table when he comes home, and be sexually available. He'll love you for it

Ltree24 · 2021-04-13T04:14:17+00:00

It's already great that you care and want to support your husband! And I think financial support isn't the only support needed in life, just like All Lurk said, you letting him know how much you appreciate him and his efforts, as well as you taking care of the newborn and the home, is already supporting! That's teamwork right there :) If you both handle the same role, the other parts of life would be a little hectic. So you handle some parts this time and he handles the others, like a team!

ezer_kenegdo · 2021-04-13T10:56:16+00:00

Have you two discussed what will happen after baby is here? Are you going back to work or staying home? Either way, things will look different.

You obviously have drive and pride in your abilities, and you like the physical evidence of your hard work and productivity. With a kid, your work will have to come second. If your baby gets sick during daycare/babysitting, and the majority of your paycheck could possibly end up going to daycare, which means you might end up feeling like you are working for nothing.

A stay at home mom can be very rewarding and you can still have goals/productive days, but it will change. A lot of what goes on managing a home and taking care of children is invisible results. Look inside yourself and see if this is something you can be comfortable with. If you need the physical results and financial rewards, then own it. Either choice you make as long as you all are happy is correct.

I'm ok with the background tasks and managing the home. I get frustrated with other stuff but this definitely was the right fit for me to stay home. I've had to change my mindset a little to see the work I put in even if it isn't cold hard evidence.

It's very common to feel guilty. I still do after 2 years, and it makes me work harder. See how you feel after maternity leave is over. Everyone knows that babies are exhausting and mind numbing but you truly don't KNOW until it happens. There is a reason sleep torture is a thing. Sometimes having the mental capacity to keep your kid alive for the day and you caffeinated is all you get done, and you still worked just as hard that day as any other day I promise you.

Title	Feeling inadequate
Author	Own-Grapefruit7309
Upvotes	19
Comments	19
Date	April 12, 2021 7:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/mplqwo/feeling_inadequate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/feeling-inadequate.1188734 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188734

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