Buckle up because this is a bit of a doozy. I (22f) have been with my boyfriend (39m) for just over a year. Yes, I know he’s a lot older than me. He has never been the best communicator, but that’s something he is trying to improve. He is pretty much my ideal man and I love him with all of my heart. However, he is in the military special forces, so his job will always come first. There is a good chance he will move across the country at the end of the Summer, and we have already talked about trying to make the distance work. On memorial weekend, he returned from a long deployment. Seeing him again was perfect—even better than I imagined and he was so happy to see me. Later that week, he met my mother. It was a dream come true. He planned on helping me move into a new apartment the following Saturday.

That Tuesday, he called me, telling me he was so sorry, but he had to leave town for a work thing. I said it was fine, and he started to ask if I was sure I wanted to still do distance, and that he wasn’t sure I knew what I was signing up for. I told him I did and it was fine during the 9 months he was deployed, so it should still be fine. He said to give him a day or 2 to think it over. He then said I was right, that I was the best girlfriend I’ve ever had during a deployment. He said I’m so thoughtful and have been nothing short of perfect. That followed with him saying he was dumb for even doubting me and that I was worth the distance to him. He said we should talk about it the next day.

The next day, I text him and tell him I’d be in his neck of the woods dropping off resumes. He tells me to let him know when I’m down there so we can meet up and talk. When I do that, there is no reply. He is meant to roll out the next night. The next day he texts me, telling me he’s so sorry he can’t help me move in, but he can’t wait to get past his work thing and see me again. This is the last I’ve heard from him.

It’s been 2 weeks now. I’m assuming he’s out of the country. He hasn’t answered any of my texts or WhatsApp’s, but his Snapchat score is the same, so I don’t think he’s trying to avoid me. I have no idea where he is or when he’ll be back. His last relationship involved long distance and he was burnt pretty badly from his ex. I know he’s also nervous about the age difference. I don’t know if I should keep sending him little updates and reassurances to see when he is able to or to completely give him space and just wait for him to come home.

More info: I’d consider him an HVM. He’s attractive, has a good job, works hard, is honest, caring, smart, and shares my love of the ocean and travel. I’d also consider myself high value. I’m young, Christian, conventionally attractive, fun, thoughtful, am in grad school, but can also cook and clean.