So I realized that I was making a huge mistake in complaining about things in my life to my wife. From work to politics to friends, I didn't realise that I was hurting our relationship when I was complaining to her about shitty situations in my life. At first I thought, "well what is the point of having a life partner if I can't rely on her for support in these kinds of situations?" but then after reading more I realized that my job was to make my wife feel secure and by complaining about things, even if the situation isn't really all that bad, it was making her feel insecure.

But I still believed that my wife is able to help give me insight into my problems. I value her judgement because of the fact that she handles situations differently to me, and thinks different from me, and I believe that there is an inherent value in looking at things in different ways.

So, I figured out a good compromise. Instead of telling her my problems directly, I use metaphors, hypothetical/historical situations, parables etc.. I have found that this works surprisingly well. A part of the reason could be because she is Chinese and the Chinese culture is big on using parables and historical myths for solving life problems.

Since I have stopped complaining about shit to her, our relationship has improved a lot.