This is a post for the youngest here. Or one to show your young cousin. This is the post I wish I had seen when I was a teenager.

Intro

I’ve often been falling “in love" with girls when I was young. After feeling the burn of rejection a few times and not liking it one bit, I went on never acting on my feelings if I was not 100% sure the feelings were reciprocated. Just the most logical, safest bet to avoid rejection. How clever. So, when I was in love with a girl, my only option would be to become a good/great/best friend, betting on the hope that through mere exposure to the benefits of my presence in her life, she would (1) naturally develop feelings for me and (2) give me the signs of that reciprocation… Common sense right?

Well that never happened.

The act would last for years without the desired result, until a move, an untimely confession on my part, or the girl starting dating someone would destroy my hopes and my heart. I would move on, difficultly, find another crush, and repeat the cycle of failure. I did not understand why on Earth that did not work. How can I be with a girl if we’re not friends first? She says I'm the best person in her life, why would she not want to be with me officially? Excuse me a minute while I go puke at reminding these memories that scarred my teenage years...

This is the “Friendzone”

Now you male reader, I know you understand exactly what I’m talking about. Every man knows this, every man experienced it. That is, if you did not grow up as a natural / top 10% / handsome man, or somehow got with your first love ever.

Do women experience the friendzone?

Surely, women have experienced this too, right? I mean, at least the fat/ugly ones surely got put in the friendzone consistently, right? After all, that is definitely not a girl’s style to be straightforward with their feelings either. Have you seen many hitting on a guy? Even the normal/hottest ones got put in the friendzone by that super hot guy they were in love with. Right?

Think again

But then I stumble on that sort of posts on the relationships subreddit that pop up so often (there are a couple right as I write), you know the kind where a woman complains that her “best friend" guy either (1) confessed his love to her, then ghosted her after she turned him away, or (2) got really upset when she started dating someone. To me - and likely you, and the average man, even blue pill - the dynamics at play here from the guy’s side are obvious. “Poor guy” you tell yourself. "Infatuated, beta, desperate. Must have stung so much… Hopefully he’ll move on fast...”

But then the girl who wrote the post appears flabbergasted at what happened, and ask for an explanation... "Can someone be so naive?” you tell yourself. "Girls do get friendzoned too right? Surely they can relate too. Surely she knows what’s up and is just pretending not to understand”…

But then you have a look at the comments. The very few posts of people who get it are drowned by comments of people who are genuinely puzzled, do not relate or downward shame the poor sap instead of taking pity on him: “He was not a true friend”, “he wanted in your pants all along”, “he concealed his real intentions”, “typical Nice Guy behavior”, “you’d better taking your distances off that creep”. That is the sort of comments that dominate the discussion. Can all these people - who are completely anonymous on reddit - pretend not to understand? Who are those commenters? Alpha guys? There’s not enough of them to put so many comments. White knights? They can surely relate to the poor chap, they wouldn’t put him down. Very obviously, these are girls. Girls who apparently cannot relate to the friendzoned guy. They can relate to the girl though. An innocent woman who thought she had a great friend, giving her time and gifts and attention from the bounty of his selfless heart. Tricked. Deceived. Poor woman. Bad man!

Women have never experienced friendzone as men do. If they had, they could relate. If they had, as anonymous commenters on the internet, they would genuinely share their opinion that, after carefully weighing what’s worse between getting your heart broken to pieces and losing a friend, they would elect to pity the guy. Or at least pity both. If women had experienced the friend zone, they could tell that this best friend of theirs is actually in love with her. They could quickly understand why he ghosted her after the rejection (to grieve) or why he got upset (he’s heartbroken). And most of all, if they had experienced the friend zone, they would empathize with him for his pain.

But they don’t do any of that. They don’t pity, they don't understand, the don't empathize. As much as I can read on these types of posts, I can never find one girl pitying the man with the broken heart. Only scorn. To me the only explanation is that women cannot relate to the friendzone experience of a man.

See, I used to think girls surely know very well when a man loves them, and they just pretend not to in order to keep the benefits of the friendship. And maybe some awful women do. But these posts make me now believe that the great majority don’t know. They are blind, either from solipsism (can’t put themselves in his shoes) or hamstring (“I can’t consciously know this or else I’ll have to bear some responsibility for his future heartbreak, so I’ll just cover my ears and sing if the thought of his possible feelings cross my m.. la la la!”).

Where the heartbroken man gets SHAMED for his feelings

Worse than this incapability to relate/understand/empathize is the blame that women will put on the poor guy for "deceiving/tricking" her. What a creep! Typical Nice Guy!

Wait. What? I mean.. shy sure. Indecisive. Weak. Pathetic, yeah ok. But blaming and shaming him? For being shy, in love and heartbroken? Why so much scorn for a man down? The reason is known by red pill aware men: women are repulsed by betas who display sexual intentions. Evolutionary-wise, getting pregnant by a low value male is just about the worse thing that can happen to a woman. As long as the beta is not sexual, he is useful. He can dispense his time and attention and resources, and will be appreciated for that. But sex, no. Can’t do. Yuk. Creep. Rapist!

Lessons learned:

Nothing new for the seasoned, red pill aware men. But for the new ones here, still learning:

  • Being friend with a girl you love / want to be with / fuck will never ever work. (tip: ok it actually may.. when she turns 30 and is still single, but that’s another story). If you ever got with your girl -friend, it's because something else happened (alcohol, she had a bad experience with an alpha man and need desperately some comfort, you got pre-selected, or social-proofed, etc.), NOT because you were "friends".

  • Women cannot relate to men’s experience and therefore are likely to not be able to tell that you love her just because you spend time with her. For her, you’re just a very good friend who is generous with his time and attention... particularly with her... which must be because she's such a great friend too!

  • Women despise.. let me say it again, it’s important… Women DESPISE a beta man with sexual intentions. All your gifts and time and attention and sweet little things you give her and that she appreciates so much WILL make her repulsed by you the day she discovers you have feelings for her. Not really because you "concealed your intentions" but because you were firmly a beta in her mind, and the idea of a sexual beta triggers red alarms in the deepest parts of her mammalian brain.

  • Girls don’t put you in the friendzone. You put yourself there. Get out of it.

  • If you like/love a girl. Go for it straight. You have two weeks to make it work. But for the sake of your sanity, do NOT try to befriend her long term. You’re shooting yourself in the foot.