After her big work promotion, chubby wife doesn’t want sex

144 points•208 comments•submitted by NoMoarNonsese123 to r/asktrp

EDIT: Stats

  • Mission: to live a happy and productive life and be fulfilled, including sexually

  • 190/6’/body fat 15%/Bench 230/At the gym 5 days a week

  • I’m an architect

  • own home. About $250k in equity. About 90k left on mortgage. Solid 401k and some other investments

  • I attend church most Sundays. Wife is more into it and attends many women’s Bible study sessions.

  • I’m 49. Wife is 47. We’ve been married 20 years. No kids.

  • I’m getting started with RP stuff.

TL;DR. Wife doesn’t want sex anymore, divorce or affair would both screw me.

Sex has never been great between us. We both come from conservative Christian backgrounds. I’m not as affected by it as she is.

Since the promotion it’s gotten worse. She already let herself go after getting married and it’s accelerating. Lots of stress eating I think. Less time for cooking.

I’m not even that physically attracted to her but I need sex. I’ve thought about divorce a lot. Thank god we don’t have kids.

My family would go ape shit if I got divorced. Our families are very close. I’ve worked hard renovating the house and don’t want to lose it. I’m also much better with money have have a huge 401k. She doesn’t.

I used to loathe infidelity but am inching in that direction. I don’t even know if I could work out the logistics since I have the kind of job that doesn’t allow me to get away during the day.

I’m new to TRP. How would a RP expert proceed in my situation?

I haven’t seen any signs of her cheating. And yes, I know I shouldn’t have married her.