Beta Father

Yozki · 2015-10-12T20:25:34+00:00

He's probably doing the best job he knows how to do.

BrunoOh · 2015-10-12T19:22:20+00:00

Most of us had beta fathers, if we had one at all. Don't resent him for it.

If kids is something you want, instead use it as fuel to become the most badass alpha father you can be.

ComplementaryColour · 2015-10-12T20:32:00+00:00

Alpha dads shunt their sons. My dad is beta. Love him for it becaus it set me straight early. When mom cheated on him i knew it was becaus of him not being man enough for her. Even though i only was 6. I whitnessed what beta behaviour would do to you and ive resented it since.

He teached me by his own faliour.

Fathers who are alpha will shunt their sons by forcing stuff on them, and alot of times the son will have to go through beta phases in order to "get it". Unless the father is teaching theories. But that would be kind of fucked up.

All loosers i know have alpha fathers. Who havnt been there for the son. Multiple new wives. Talking to his son as he would to a mate. Even in early years. " stop crying like a damn girl and get out of the bathroom!!" I whitnessed my overwheight classmates father yell this through the bathroom door after he lost a game of pingpong in school.

Thats not right...

tangman · 2015-10-12T21:38:35+00:00

There is a good passage titled "Parents" on Page 89 of this book, Peace is Every Step

The entire book is worthwhile. But bottom line is,

He saw that his father may have been a victim just like him. The seeds of his father’s anger might have been transmitted by his grandparents

Next time you look at yourself in the mirror, take a few deep breaths and look deeply. You may get to see your parents in your own reflection. Not just their genetic material, but their hopes and dreams, their struggles, sacrifices, and victories. Find peace and love with him and you will find it with yourself.

uncagethewolf · 2015-10-13T12:05:18+00:00

I was raised by a beta father. He was raised in the late 1930's and 1940's. My grandfather was off fighting WWII and eventually divorced my grandmother when my father was young. He was raised by a woman. I was angry and harbored a lot of resentment for a very long time against my father. I cried, bitched and moaned about why my father didn't teach me to be a man for 40 years of my life. One day I realized that he did the best he could do with what he knew, what he himself had been taught. I also realized that I was crying about the past and all the woe is me bullshit. You are the one that can shape your present and your future. So what daddy didn't teach you how to built a fence and you really wish you knew how. Don't cry about it, go learn to build a fence on your own. All the things in life you wish Daddy taught you or wish he had done, stop crying, get off your ass and go do them for you, you are an adult. Think about your father's past and why the way he is and how he got that way. This will help with your resentment. Stop blaming and start doing for you.

Longest_username · 2015-10-12T20:15:45+00:00

Everyone is beta to some extent.

Your dad has done alot of things right to get you where you are in life. You're chosing to only focus on his beta tendencies, in fact I bet if you look in the mirror you'd see you have more beta tendencies then your dad.

How does it feel to be judged now homie?

I recognise how my father has done alpha shit to get my family where we are today and I look at his good habits and see how I can adapt them to my life.

he's up every morning at 6 no matter what. He gets things around the house running, makes sure everythings up to quality and does alot of DIY. He doesn't let anyone fuck with him and will fight if he has to, event at a cost of his own safety.

His beta tendencies is that he's a cry baby and gets owned by my mom regularly. He is easily made angry and can be emotional.

However, I look at those and think - hey man, maybe thats what 30 years of marriage does to you. IDK.

Scurvemuch · 2015-10-12T19:15:17+00:00

this Beta provided not only your bad experiences but likely some good. Being beta means plugged in... do you get angry at those who dont actually see reality?
that should be your frame

rurpe · 2015-10-12T21:45:42+00:00

You cannot change the past and you cannot control other people. Get over it and move on with your life.

4benny2lava0 · 2015-10-13T02:32:54+00:00

Maybe you can get to know him better. I resented my father for years. Even after swallowing the pill I believed my mothers overt lies exploiting my distance with my father and saying the things that would make her look bad advancing her own agenda were his words.

We talked, talked, and talked some more. He told me his side and the monstrous pile of shit he put up with from my mother made perfect sense.

He even appologized for never teaching me to be a man.

You probably have a good bit to learn about him.

My father was an alpha. He met my mother and stayed with her so my sister and I would not grow up in a broken home.

His behavior became more and more beta and he knew what he was doing.

Now my parents are throwing around the idea of a divorce when they duel with me individually in private and I could not be happier for him.

My sister is long gone and my mothers abusive, entitled, hypergamous, manipulative and selfish behavior over the years have guarenteed she will get exactly what she deserves...

To die alone without a family or a beta bux to provision her.

anonymous_troll · 2015-10-13T04:29:48+00:00

You're going to have to come to grips with your image of your father and develop a more positive image of who he is if you want a healthy adult life. You will see his behaviors and habits echoed in yours more and more as you age.

DarkisKnight · 2015-10-13T13:23:59+00:00

Moving out is step no. 1. Your anger is more than likely at you're feeling powerless in the situation and you're directing it at your Dad. I'm sure he's a beta and it's annoying but there are a shit-ton of betas running around. Hell, these are most of my friends. Lead, be self-assured, take care of yourself and what one beta does won't feel like it has any effect on you.

Futdashukup · 2015-10-13T18:27:28+00:00

You got to love your Dad, man. A friend of mine had a step-dad who murdered his little brother. A close female friend was raped by her Dad. Another female friend was raped by her stepdad. Unless your Dad did some bad shit, you love your Dad because he likely the ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO GIVES 2 FUCKS ABOUT YOU.

minoc_uo · 2015-10-13T00:38:42+00:00

I decided my dad was a bad person who was having a negative impact on my life. He leeches and takes advantage of everyone he can including his family and children.

I removed him from my life and work to rely only on myself. This had nothing to do with alpha or beta.

Title	Beta Father
Author	Ayylmao20
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	October 12, 2015 6:39 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3oheuk/beta_father/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/beta-father.155002 https://theredarchive.com/post/155002

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