I was reading through the OYS from last week while I was on my holiday when I saw u/hornsofapathy and u/tines0 share notes about the importance of initiating only from a place of true desire. Since I have noticed the impact of this often overlooked mental model myself, I thought I’d ellaborate further.

If you have read through the sidebar you know the fallacy of seeking validation in your (sex) life. It might be one of the main reasons why the beta crabs of the hypergamy bucket stay far down with the masses.

Most of us have been guilty of seeking validation in our relationship. We get that jolt of oneitis and initiate because we want to check how interested our women are in fucking our entitled EGO. You, Mr. Big Dingalong, are four months into your MRP-journey and did all this work so SHE better be fucking YOU, right?

Wrong. She owes you and your ego nothing. Internally she feelz that you are still basing your worth on something external (in this case, the question if mwommy spreads her legs for you or not). If you have actually read the sidebar and know anything about Frame and being your Mental Point of Origin you will understand that this way of thinking is bound for failure.

Next time the thought of fucking your woman crosses your mind, examine the thought. Give it a few moments, learn what the thought feelz like in your gut. Does the thought fill you with feelings of mild anxiety, stress and neurosis? It is highly likely that you are looking for validation. On the other hand, does the thought give you positive energy, make you excited and give you a raging boner? It is probably coming from a place of true desire.

Over time, approaching your sex life like this also changes the dynamic. You are actually approaching sex from your frame instead of poking to see if mommy still loves you. You are the prize, right? This would mean that your woman is working hard to kindle that desire and if she's not, well, you have plenty of important shit to do.