I am a few months in now. I have lifted at least every other day since March, joined two soccer teams, revitalized my business, stopped drinking completely, and reestablished boundaries in my marriage. During this time, I have been trying to work on understanding Frame, faking it until I make it.

Well, I think I am starting to make it.

Today, the shit tests came as if they were in slow motion. My emotions were in check the entire time, I am starting to live in my frame.

I left work a little later than usual and was talking to an old friend on the phone the whole way home. My wife calls twice. Old me would have hung up on my friend and picked up her call. Not anymore.

I get home to a hungry, pissed off wife. She wants to know why I didn't answer her calls. “I was on another call.” She does not like this answer and storms out of the house to get dinner. Old me would have been pissed the way she left or tried to reason or argue with her. New me was not even tempted to be sucked into her emotions.

She leaves to pick up junk food. I decide to make a steak dinner with rice, bread, watermelon and ice cream.

She comes home still pissed right as I am plating my dinner. I am goofing around in the kitchen and having a great time with the kids. I even joke with her. Her emotions are hers and I am in my own happy world.

The kids ask for my dinner instead of hers proving my point that cooking is just as quick as heading out to pick up food. It also tastes a lot better. However, I didn't mention it or rub it in. Old me would have and likely been drawn into her emotions.

I bring out the watermelon cut up in a big bowl. She tells me to bring it in a smaller bowl with spoons for the kids. Old me would have jumped at the command. New me tells her if she thinks that is necessary, she can do it herself. She tries to draw me in here again. Water off my back, no comment at all from me. I just enjoyed my delicious meal with the kids hovering over me for bites of daddy's steak.

After putting the kids down and going to the gym I return home. Old me would have assumed my wife was still a bitch and been drawn into her negativity or tiptoeing around her. But I came home happy and fulfilled. And you know what, she was drawn into my frame! Happy husband, happy wife.

I know these are just small, stupid shit tests and really don't mean a great deal. The point is, she was not mad that I didn't pick up the phone or jump to her demands. Old me would have assumed as much. She actually felt more secure because I didn't give into her or enter her frame. The best part is it all happened in slow motion and it was no longer fake. It has been a long, ongoing process, but I am starting to make it.