Presents

Redneck001 · 2015-10-10T03:10:18+00:00

"Happy birthday. I'm glad I picked you."

That's what the Prize would write in the card.

enfier · 2015-10-10T02:16:54+00:00

You gave those presents with the expectation that she would love you more or appreciate it. In reality it had somewhat of the opposite affect since it really just shows her that you feel lesser than her and try to make up for it in gifts.

The counterpoint would be that some people really appreciate and are comforted by gifts. However those gifts can just be of the everyday, cheap thoughtful kind.

In the future, buy a gift if you want to and give it without expectations. If the rest of your life is together, it's not going to make much difference either way.

Remember you are the prize, and if you aren't, then become the prize.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-10-10T16:36:29+00:00

There was an old Reality Method blog post about giving gifts that i am trying to find in the archives. The gist of it is that you should only give gifts that both of you can use together. Example: two tickets to a show, couples outing, a game you both can play. Never give a gift that is just for her.

That, or just give her a bag of skittles. Here is some more on gift giving.

[deleted] · 2015-10-10T13:22:09+00:00

skittles man.

seriously, do it if you are generous and have extra. dont' do it to apease a cunt

alphabeta49 · 2015-10-10T15:27:26+00:00

are giving presents the same as sharing feelings?

If you're adding value to her, whether that is with your time (dates and hanging out), money (gifts), or effort (choreplay), then she better damn we'll be adding value to you in whatever way you want - which for most guys is sex and being a good first officer. You didn't say in this post, but something tells me she isn't adding value to you like you are to her. So like /u/enfier said, she holds the power because it looks like you're trying to win her affection or appreciation with gifts. Which is also a big fat fucking covert contract.

Stop with the gifts altogether. If she asks (I'm guessing she won't, it'll be a breath of fresh air to her), tell her you're reorganizing your priorities. Leave it at that and let her hamster spin.

Also, I'm not a fan of The 5 Love Languages when couples read it together, but it has some good points. Maybe later, when she's adding more value because you're a higher value man, and if you want to reward her efforts, try to find out what her love language is. Maybe she won't appreciate the gifts at all but would actually like a massage or a date better.

That's for much later down the road though. For now focus on you. My bet is that you wen have a knee jerk reaction to buy your wife stuff. Cut that out.

RPcoyote · 2015-10-10T15:42:18+00:00

I definitely dialed back on presents. And also once given, you should watch for your reaction and expectation. A relapse beta and NG would eagerly await her excitement and feel jolly happy like a fucking puppy if you hit the jackpot and she likes the gift(s). Such an empty, misguided bitch emotion. If she doesn't then beta you would fret with anxiety "how can I please this woman? What should I do? I feel terrible. Maybe I should spend even more money to show how much I love her". Again, misguided, damaging emotion with terrible consequences if not evaluated through awakened eyes.

So now that you see the world clearly, you will get her a gift or two that you want her to wear/use/enjoy, and you do it for you. You care zero percent if she likes it or not. You do it for you because you think she deserves it. And because as a king you want your queen to have a nice thing or two from you. She doesn't like it? Who cares. It's her problem, she's to do the work of returning it etc. You do not care. The fact that you gave her a gift should speak for itself and tell her you care for her period.

The challenge is the change and dialing back expectations after you've trained her the wrong way.

Good luck.

itsgavinc · 2015-10-10T18:35:17+00:00

She doesn't need a present. She has me. I'm the prize and constantly improving myself. That's the thought behind Skittles guy and all his women.

Giving gifts says "these items are to make up for my deficiencies." Give something because you want to better your lives together, not as part of a covert contract.

[deleted] · 2015-10-10T20:32:36+00:00

I forget if it was u/whinemoreplease or u/BluePillProfessor that bought flowers to make the room he fucks his wife in look nicer.

That's a Gift right there.

And I totally stole that to see what would happen when she said something about the flowers being pretty. " I think it makes the room look better " grin. Walk away. Could literally watch the hamster

mrpCamper · 2015-10-11T04:40:27+00:00

This year, my first anniversary since swallowing the red pill, I got my wife a card and a nice bar of chocolate for our anniversary. I picked this up from a cvs on my way home from work that day..... I ate most of the chocolate.

We went out to dinner at a place of my choosing. She didn't know where it was until we walked into the front door. She loved it.

Previously, I would have picked up flowers and spent at least $100 on something and worried about it for weeks. I feel this anniversary was one of our nicest. :)

Next year, a year that is divisible by 5, I'll step it up. I'm researching plans for us to go away for a long weekend someplace I want to go. I'll bring her along to enjoy the fun.

UEMcGill · 2015-10-12T13:49:05+00:00

Gift giving should come from a place of true giving. Showering your wife with gifts reeked of covert contracts, not beta bux. "Isn't this jewelry wonderful I got you?!?" (now fuck me). "Look at this wonderful flat screen I got you! " (now love me). "You deserve a Lexus baby" (now validate me).

It backfired because it was dishonest, slimey and not trust worthy. If you give it should be without pretense and something with no expectation of return.

6TimesDown7TimesUp · 2015-10-10T01:33:51+00:00

Before MRP I did the same thing. Got the wife a new iPad early this year pre-MRP and she didn't even open it till a few months ago. I don't have the link to the post on my phone but I'm pretty sure if you search for "Skittles" on the forum you'll find the answer you're looking for.

Title	Presents
Author	trp_dude
Upvotes	9
Comments	12
Date	October 10, 2015 12:47 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3o61id/presents/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/presents.200894 https://theredarchive.com/post/200894

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