I lost my way

bogeyd6 · 2017-06-08T00:53:42+00:00

He's gone. He made his choice and I know very closely from my uncle how that feels. The ultimate lesson in the red pill. Men make their own choices. I cleaned up the blood and buckshot so my family didn't have to. He gave up. We aren't your fountain. There are no external resources to gain strength from.

RedDreadWolverine · 2017-06-08T00:03:15+00:00

Well, you know what to do. Get to work. The sooner the better.

MentORPHEUS · 2017-06-08T00:23:58+00:00

Everyone in my life is scared to feed me that hard to swallow medicine that keeps the weakness away. Its made me lose respect for some of them.

Is it more their responsibility to get you to own your shit than it is yours?

Perhaps it's not the time to make binding decisions about how much you respect the others in your life.

Now: straighten up and fly right brother!

stonepimpletilists · 2017-06-08T13:09:52+00:00

Been there, and I know the feeling of wanting to slap the shit out of someone for offering 'condolences'. Or the people that use your ears to talk through their grief, when they should be acknowledging your grief is kind of bigger here than the second cousin, twice removed.

I didn't like it, and clearly you didn't either.

Took me three years till I could talk about the man and keep composure. And honestly, the best thing I did was keep busy, work, and process it at a time I felt appropriate.

Besides, you sucked it up and got to work when you got DOXXED, whatever you tapped into for that, time to dust it off and bring it back out again for a reunion tour.

As for the pushing people away bit, you're not going to want to change that. What helped me was thinking of it as being the counselor. Death makes people unsure about their social bonds. Make nice, keep it light. Assure your brothers that life is moving on, and to get back to normalcy. They were supposed to be the ones doing it for you, but like everything... If you don't do it yourself, no one else will. You've been 'alpha jesus walker' for a while now. Time to see if all that work is paying off or not.

TLDR; keep busy, play nice, deal with your grief when you want to, no rush. Time to show you aren't faking masculinity, most don't get this kind of opportunity, good luck

BluepillProfessor · 2017-06-08T16:10:30+00:00

He really does make the rain fall on the just and the unjust alike.

FireTempered · 2017-06-08T02:05:14+00:00

Your father lost himself. You lost your father. These are sad things, and, you will be forced to deal with your grief.

From your loss, from your grief, this is where you create your father's legacy, to make yourself weaker, or stronger. This comes only from within you. Best.

RuleZeroDAD · 2017-06-08T00:20:46+00:00

Done grieving?

You a man or lesson in hubris?

What you do from here will be your story.

Triadis3 · 2017-06-08T05:53:29+00:00

You're grieved.

You put him away.

Now put your emotions away.

You're still alive. You have a duty to yourself to show the old bastard what kind of a man you've become.

Scurvemuch · 2017-06-08T11:06:56+00:00

You're far from the first to bury family. All eyes on you. Including your kids.

Aechzen · 2017-06-08T11:16:31+00:00

watching him waste his talents and mind made him seem dead already.

That's the story of my dad right there. I think he's doing more anticipating death than living life, and I don't want to live like that.

Use your dad's negative example as a cautionary tale, and fuel for your fire. It's working for me.

whitesocks2000 · 2017-06-08T11:18:32+00:00

Hemingway finished "A Farewell To Arms" after his dad committed suicide. Hell of a good book, read that, lift, don't drink and STFU. E.H. did later kill himself. Don't do that part.

RedDreadWolverine · 2017-06-08T01:15:30+00:00

Is it fucked up that I've learned to enjoy having my ego smashed? Shit talk and brutal honesty are my love languages.

88Will88 · 2017-06-08T02:33:25+00:00

Grief is a real and natural emotion. There is no fast forward button. You go THROUGH it not around it. Do not rationalise your grief, do not ignore it. Try and remain productive throughout this process and give it time. Just because you have a ball and chain around your ankle does not mean you cannot walk 20 miles a day, it just makes the walk harder, and it makes you stronger.

weakandsensitive · 2017-06-08T11:35:58+00:00

I once had the epiphany that suicide was one of the strongest paths an individual can take.

Someone makes the decision that life just isn't worth it any more. Instead of bitching about life endless as you see so many people do, those individuals actually take the drastic step to make the decision that they're over it, and take the actions to follow through. It's a seriously morbid thought process, but it is empowering on some level to make the decision to die on your own terms instead of waiting for it to happen to you.

My epiphany was "damn - that takes courage", which your average population is going to attribute to weakness to hamster their own solipsism.

Sidenote: If you are thinking about suicide, talk to someone first. Call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

JohnDenversCoPilot · 2017-06-08T02:53:54+00:00

Grieving for a lost father doesn't mean you get to quit your responsibly to yourself or family unit. Do what must be done and have micro breakdowns I'm between your successes. OYS and put in the work, you are still alive... So live.

I lost my way

Comments

How do I make this stop?

Title	I lost my way
Author	RedDreadWolverine
Upvotes	24
Comments	53
Date	June 7, 2017 11:25 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6fx7fh/i_lost_my_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/i-lost-my-way.198746 https://theredarchive.com/post/198746