Getting attached.

Worthy_of_Upvotes · 2012-10-14T19:16:49+00:00

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30vanquish · 2012-10-14T19:44:18+00:00

Then at least build options by talking to a lot of girls. So even if you get attached, if a girl loses attraction or you make a mistake, there are other girls that are also interested.

HorseLifer · 2012-10-15T03:32:00+00:00

You are seeking validation from women, and attributing your self-worth to them. Live a fuller life and notice that women become less of a focus and more of a side-goal

2012-10-15T03:03:07+00:00

Nice to hear some guys have this problem too

Worthy_of_Upvotes · 2012-10-14T18:59:25+00:00

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carguy121 · 2012-10-15T01:12:05+00:00

This. I have felt this so often and I'm glad someone finally put the question out there. I salute your mutual feel.

chubbsatwork · 2012-10-14T22:09:11+00:00

I have this problem currently. Currently, I'm attached to 4 different women. And I can't seem to stop really caring about all of them. I'm in a long-distance relationship with one, that I really want to end, just so I'm free to pursue my other interests, but I love her, and I don't want to hurt her, so I can't do it.

andymorphic · 2012-10-15T04:52:45+00:00

I didnt realize that the point of this sub was to suppress feelings

Ferrisprost · 2012-10-14T20:14:07+00:00

It's ok to love a girl. Tell them you feel love for them. Just love other girls too.

Desmadre · 2012-10-15T22:45:17+00:00

This was posted a while back. Read it. Live it.

http://zenhabits.net/zen-attachment/

2012-10-15T08:26:57+00:00

to quote 40 yearold virgin "you're putting the pussy on a pedestal"

The thing is too, girls hate this instant attachment, because there is nothing worse than a guy who is in love with them without even knowing who they are as a person...

hrtfthmttr · 2012-10-15T16:34:13+00:00

I defend a lot of PUA and topics in this sub because I think it can be used in concert with being a good person. Posts like these, however, really make me question its value.

I understand when over-infatuation can be problematic. If it's destroying the relationships you're trying to build, or consuming your every day to the detriment of your friends, family, and work, you need to do something. But given the responses in this post, it's clear that many of you are actively trying to become less genuine around women you're interested in.

PUA should be a set of tools to maximize your chances of achieving connection with another person, whether that connection is relationship material or a one night stand. It is not a set of commandments to help you become less human. If the OP (and nearly every commenter here) believes unattachment is the goal, you've degraded yourself far beyond any of the boilerplate PUA criticisms of objectifying women.

jewfro667 · 2012-10-15T03:38:27+00:00

I have this same exact problem, I'm going through it right now, somewhat. I'm not even sure anymore about where I stand with this girl due to a bunch of shit she's pulling with me. Anyway, yeah, I tend to compare all the girls I meet to the one girl I'm currently into, which is awful because I find flaws in all of them and I just can't bring myself to find anything better about them than the girl I'm into. It's so bad lol.

Though, I find that hooking up with girls helps calm your heart and no longer be as attached. It's like your brain wakes up and realizes there are other girls that want your dick instead of the one that keeps teasing or whatever. Sure, you may still be a little attached (I am) but it's less, which is awesome.

Endless_Summer · 2012-10-14T21:11:32+00:00

Yes. Talk to your therapist about it.

Title	Getting attached.
Author	Worthy_of_Upvotes
Upvotes	91
Comments	27
Date	October 14, 2012 6:31 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/11gxdk/getting_attached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-attached.1341124 https://theredarchive.com/post/1341124

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