I went out this weekend and had a great time. Went to a bunch of events with crowds, performances, had good food, chilled out at a park, wore great clothes, etc.

And while it was a great day part of me just kept feeling bad that I was doing it all alone. And this happens often. Like I look at everyone in groups, guys and girls hanging out together, I am the only guy alone, and while I feel happy at doing the activities and experiencing something new I feel sad inside.

I don't like this. I talk to some people during the day when I go out but that is just casual stuff and doesn't change how I feel. I am tired of feeling like I need a woman to make me happy. I am tired of doing things with the expectation of external validation, which never comes anyway.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't attracted to women at all. How can I stop feeling like I need another person and just be happy on my own?